Friends! I am super glad to find you here! It has been a hot minute since I have published a blog entry. Several big life changes have unfolded since August, two of them being moving to Dallas and God revealing some pretty rad truths. If you will, lend me the opportunity to tell you about it!
This past fall semester I lived with my parents in Waco, while attending a community college. Over the semester, I have spent many weekends in Dallas visiting a friend who attends Dallas Baptist University. This gal is pretty grand and introduced me to her new church home, Central Bible Church. In November, I was recruited as an 8thgrade girls leader for a groovy weekend of fun, laughs, worship, and digging into the truth that God has for every single one of us. It was amazing. Now, let’s backtrack a tad. In Waco, I have done a poor job of fulfilling God’s command of seeking Christian community since rededicating my life to the Lord eighteen months ago. I love people. But I also love my independence. Truly, it’s not quite the independence as much as it is the fear of rejection. Goodness that is hard to admit. I convinced myself that rejection won’t hurt if I never allow myself to become attached to someone in the first place. Lol nice try am I right? This fear of rejection has festered into a landslide of pride, loneliness, and disobedience. At the WKND, the Lord revealed to me the value and vitality of investing in friendships and Christian community. It was a light bulb moment at which I realized I need to allow myself to love even when it is risky. “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). When Christ physically came to Earth, He overcame rejection and chose to love every single day. He looked at the very men mocking Him on the cross and said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Christ loves me enough to give His life for me amidst my sin and repeated failures. Christ’s love for us is literally one of the key foundational pieces of His character. How can I expect to live out my best life, a life honoring to the Lord, if I refuse to love? I pondered this question and made the conscious decision to strive to walk every step in genuine and authentic love. One simple command, that will require a lifetime of prayer and practice. Let’s go.
After this realization, I continued to drive to Dallas often for church and also began establishing roots at home at Harris Creek Baptist Church. It was inspiring meeting so many fellow young people who are on fire for the Lord and seeking a deep relationship with Christ. I yearned for true friendships and community. In mid-December, through a series of events completely orchestrated by God, I was given the opportunity to move to Dallas. I moved in at the beginning of the year and have begun serving as an unofficial, official junior high girls intern at Central Bible Church, started working a part-time job, and began my last semester of classes before nursing school. It is amazing how God has completely transformed my entire life in Waco to a new life full of new people, new opportunities, new serving opportunities, and vital Christian community. God’s plan for me is far greater than any plan I could have ever imagined for myself. The past fall semester was full of solitude and loneliness. It is easy to look back at the past year and feel regret; however, as I reflect, I can see the way the Lord was actively working in my life amidst this season of solitude and even disobedience. The Lord continues to reveal to me again and again the way He is in control of literally every situation and can use seasons of what I may deem failures to teach me, mold me, and draw me closer to Himself, the just, loving, and all powerful God He is.
Here are the three main things I learned this semester:
- Sometimes the Lord places me in places completely alone so that I can realize that I don’t need anyone or anything but Him.
- God made me perfectly lonely, so that He could show me what being perfectly loved feels like.
- God commanded us to love authentically. “My command is this: Love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12).
Over and over, I am learning that the times I am uncomfy are often the same times God uses to push me towards Himself. It’s pretty stinkin cool.
Let the good times roll (and the hard ones too).
-grace
Our sweet group of 8th grade girls from the WKND!
