Same same but different, a common saying that has always made us laugh at how much it applies to any and all situations. It’s still making me laugh because it has applied to me everyday since launching for team leading. This saying has also held true for the past 10 days where our squad attended an Awakening and are currently at our Month 1 Debrief in South Africa. (An awakening is when multiple squads are in a similar area and come together for a few days sharing testimonies, teachings, and encouraging each other. We were with another gap year squad in Pretoria, South Africa.) All that being said it has been eye opening to see these things from a new perspective the second time around.
I have realized all the growth that has taken place in me in the past year. From my month 1 debrief to this one. From my awakening to this one. Different continents, different people, even different years.
If I had to boil it down to one thing I would say it all has to do with identity.
At my first debrief I was crazy, having to do and see everything possible. I felt like I was missing out on everything if I wasn’t there and it would honestly cause me a lot of stress. Sitting here at month 1 debrief part two, I can say I’ve changed a lot. I have learned (but am totally still learning) what it looks like to rest, physically but also rest in the presence of the Lord. To do what I need rather than rushing through life never enjoying where I presently am. I am learning to love where my feet are, not dwelling in the past or putting expectations on the future.
It’s been breath of fresh air. Seeing that I’ve grown in my identity and if things are hard or don’t go a certain way knowing I am ok with that. Knowing who I am and who the Lord says I am, not having to question it. Stepping into the bold, authentic person I am every single day, not letting people or circumstances change that. Knowing the truth and not wavering in it.
I’m still very much a work in progress but knowing and seeing these changes is encouraging as we head back to Swaziland and the reality starts to sink in that I only have a handful of weeks left on the field. The Lord has invited me into freedom, full, tangible, beautiful freedom over these next two months and I’m going to do everything possible to grasp it and won’t let go. This is still the beginning, the start of a greater work that God is doing in my life. He’s been so sweet to let me see a little bit of the fruit that last year has produced in me, knowing that there’s always more to come.
