What I have learned the past 2 weeks:
Distractions are real.
I am lazy.
Africa is beautiful.
I am lonely.
Electricity is a privilege that I’m not sure I’ll get to experience here.
There is so much pain here.
I have so many friends here.
I feel at home in Nsoko.
I’m insecure.
Children are OUR future.
I don’t view myself in the same degree that God views me.
I have pain and hurt in my heart that I still need to work on and letting go of.
I am rushing (or trying to) the healing process; expecting Abba to heal 18 years worth of pain and mistakes in a week time span.
HAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHA.
Silly, I know. Thinking that I can simply be healed without actually putting in any effort or pursuing God at all.
The truth is………..
I’m not okay. But… that is okay.
Truthfully, I’m breaking here and breaking down everything that I ever thought was concrete, but I’m making my faith my own. I’m discovering the truth about God’s love for myself,
Do I wish that I could rush it all and get to the part where I’m changed, better, stronger, and cooler? YEAH, I DO. But, it doesn’t work like that. I’ve learned that this season here in Swazi and om the race is for such a reason. It’s so quiet here that I can’t run from God… even if I wanted to.
So, friends…. Here’s to growing pains, no wifi, no electricity, new seasons, and the uncomfortable that is now my life.
He is faithful, I’m just discovering that now for myself,
I love you all and I can’t wait to share more.
P.S. – Swaziland reminds me of life on the farm,
Blessings, laughter, messy hair, dirty clothes, rice eating, and a cup of instant coffee,
Grace.
