And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.
1 Corinthians 2:1-5
When proclaiming the testimony of God, Paul’s sense of fear and weakness and his lack of trust in himself was so great that he literally quaked and trembled. He was not at all overflowing with self-confidence, but he did not rely on his own strengths, rather he relied on the strengths of the Lord. Paul’s teaching and preaching probably wasn’t super impressive according to human standards, but it had POWER on a spiritual level.
Paul, I get you dude. Especially in today’s world sharing the gospel can be terrifying. So I asked the Lord to challenge me in this area.
October 24th 2017 my journal reads:
“ The enemy wants me to be afraid because he knows that my words carry so much power in You. Lord, remind me of this and give me strength to be an ambassador of the gospel. Do not allow me to lean on my own strength, but give me strength and confidence in You.”
Later that evening I opened an email from my leaders that asked:
What if you ask the Holy Spirit to guide and empower you as you walk out your kingdom calling? What if you engage in kingdom work that is beyond your natural human ability?
Okay Lord, it sounds like we’re on the same page here.
As a team we decided to go out into town and encourage and uplift anyone we felt the Spirit was leading us to. It was an awesome experience. We met so many amazing people and got to both hear their testimonies and share ours. But God used one person to teach me an important lesson.
Towards the beginning of our time downtown we met a man who was born with a disability, which prevented him from being able to walk on his own. We asked if we could pray for him, and he agreed. Everyone laid hands on him as one teammate spoke blessings and God’s love and healing over his life. At the end of the prayer I felt an unsettling in my heart, like we weren’t supposed to let him leave yet…like we needed to continue praying for him. But I let him go.
At the end of our time downtown, two teammates and myself went to the park to sit and ask the Lord if he had anywhere or anyone else to lead us to before we went home. I asked God to reveal an image to me of where we should go next. All I could see in my mind’s eye was the color yellow, which made no sense to me. That is, until my teammate spoke up and said, “I have an image of a yellow building”.
“Oh my goodness! I see yellow too!” I finally told her.
We looked around us and walked into the nearest yellow building, unsure of who we were looking for or what we were supposed to do. We walked to the end of the building, and I looked to my left, and there he was sitting on the ground. The same man from earlier. The one I let leave.
We waved at him saying hello. I felt the Spirit lead me to pray over him again. I knew exactly why we were back there with him. But we continued to walk.
I felt even more uneasy than ever. As we were walking away my teammate asked “Grace, do you feel comfortable leaving now?” And I finally spoke up and said, “No. We need to go back and pray over him one more time.”
I had asked the Lord to challenge me, and so He did. And He wasn’t letting me run away.
Okay Lord, show me that through You my words have spiritual power.
I prayed over him this time. I prayed that the Lord would bring him joy in all his days and that He would saturate his life with the love of Jesus, and I prayed that the Lord would heal his legs. A peace covered me as I finished speaking.
Now guys, guess what happened next?!
Absolutely nothing.
His legs were the same after the prayer as they were before. I don’t know if he knew the words that were spoken over him. I don’t know if he had an encounter with Jesus or not. I don’t know if he was filled with joy and love or not. I don’t know what the bigger picture God has for his life is. But the Lord asked me to pray for Him so I did.
Sometimes the Spirit leads us to do things and we see instantaneous fruit. Sometimes we are only planting seeds and don’t see the fruit. We might not always understand what the Lord is doing, or why He is asking us to step out to do uncomfortable things. Either way, what really matters is that we are always walking in obedience to the Lord. When you hear His voice do you listen and obey, or do you ignore Him and walk away?
