I have a choice. I have a choice to be joyful. I have a choice to ask for strength. I have a choice to love like the Father. I have a choice to look past comparison. I have a choice to steward my time well. I have a choice to walk in freedom or stay stagnant with defeat. I have a choice to settle for a lesser life. I have a choice to put the chains around my own ankles every morning, or dance in the freedom of my Father.
Last month in Zimbabwe my team had the privilege of doing what we call UH or unsung heroes. So our ministry for the month is essentially to find contacts in our city for future WR teams. We get to be the first to form relationships with some and allow God to use us to open doors that might not have been opened otherwise. During our stay in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe we had the honor of meeting Adam and Vicki Burke and Juliet Howat. I have so many words of praise I could speak over these people but mostly I’m thankful for the way they listen to the Lord. We had been staying at their hostel for about two weeks and they had already poured so much love and hospitality into us. We were sitting on the porch having tea and started talking about the power of the Holy Spirit. I immediately felt fear in my heart. The power of the Holy Spirit outside of a small voice inside of me and the fruit He can bear was a foreign concept to me. We talked and asked questions for about 2 hours and we decided the next morning we were going to ask for more. For more of the Holy Spirit. To experience Him in new ways. To ask Him to reveal Himself to us in the most intimate of ways.
So the next morning we spent almost 2 hours studying the Word and learning about ways the Holy Spirit can reveal Himself. We learned the ways He works. We also learned that He works in ways that we don’t even understand. We learned that He is a gift. He is our helper. He wants to know us.
Then we asked Him to come. We asked Him to meet us right there in that room and do a work in us. The thing about the Holy Spirit is if you ask Him to come, He will. And guess what, He did.
As soon as we started praying tears came to my eyes and continually rolled down my face. I wanted to know the Holy Spirit. I wanted to not be plagued by comparison. I wanted to over flow with peace and joy. I wanted to no longer be controlled by my emotions but be led by Him. So I just asked. I asked for any barriers between my heart and God’s to come down. I wanted to be completely open for Him to come fill me. Something inside of me shifted. I started speaking to the Holy Spirit more intimately than I ever had before, with words hidden deep inside my soul. I started laughing. He was here and He was with me more tangibly than I had ever felt. Like a best friend, our conversation flowed easily and naturally. Vicky came over and prayed over me. She told me to weep. To release all of those things I had been holding deep inside of me. So I let go. I cried harder than I have in a really long time. Vicky starts praying healing over me. Over past wounds and hurts. Over things that dictate the way I see myself through a dirty lens. As each tear fell from my eye it was as if each thing she was praying was being healed and released. Each moment of rejection. Each moment I have felt misunderstood. Each moment I’ve felt like a failure and felt less than those around me. Each moment I have spent trying to prove to everyone that I am worth it.
I sit for a moment, my tears slowing, as I realize what I had just let go of. All of the sudden my heart is filled with an overwhelming spirit of Joy. I was free. Again I start laughing. This time from deep within. The kind of laugh you never want to end. The kind of joy that feels good in every joint and bone in your body. I laughed for what seemed like ages just basking in the freedom of His presence.
Then came the peace. From the top of my head to the tip of my toes. I sat in His presence completely at peace.
The next night we had worship together and I experienced more freedom than I ever had singing and dancing before God. Something changes when you know someone intimately. It’s like having an inside joke. It’s something that only you and Him have experienced and no one can take that away from you. This one experience has altered a lot of things for me. It’s a day I will never forget.
I wish I could say that I have lived from this place in the following days. I wish I could say I experienced continual and uninterrupted freedom each and every moment after this. But satan is subtle and He likes to lie. He likes to tell you that what you felt and heard and healed from wasn’t real. He likes to make you mad at God for giving you so much freedom and then taking it away.
Here is where my lesson lies. I chose freedom. That day I chose to let go. I chose to be overcome with joy. I chose to invite healing. God is not the one withholding the freedom. I am.
Galatians 5:1 “ For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”
Romans 8:20-21 “For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.”
That encounter with God has changed my perspective forever.
That power and that freedom is one choice away.
Life no longer becomes about the struggle but about the freedom.
Every day I get to wake up and make the decision. Bondage or freedom? Shackles or dancing?
