As I sit here and bask in the Georgia sun with my best friend I’m lost in a perfect moment. I am blissfully in love with my life. I have the best parents a girl could ask for. I have a best friend who has become my sister. I am in love with my nephews and my brother and sister in laws I wouldn’t trade for the world. I have a dream and direction for my life. I feel home free for the first time and I don’t want that to stop. Golly! I am happy. I love my life and I’m about to change all of that forever.
These past six weeks before launch have been…..crazy. I had a million things to buy. Tons of people to see. I quit my job. My youngest brother left for college. My mom had a pacemaker put in. I have never had a crazier, more stressful, and emotional month. Looking back on all of it I realized a few things about myself. My stress was coming from the thought of leaving these people behind. I am safe. I am comfortable. And that is not enough.
I have been idolizing my relationships and my lifestyle. Nothing is wrong with either but I’ve been holding on too tight for too long. I keep thinking I wish I was running away. I wish I had something driving me to want to get away. But I don’t.
I never thought things that are so positive and wonderful can become a negative thing. But at some point I must realize that God doesn’t call me to be safe. God doesn’t call me to be comfortable. Just like Christ calling Peter to step out of the safety of the boat and trust Him to walk on the water. God is calling me out of the safety of America and my life, to trust Him with this next phase of my life.
So here it goes. Me taking that first step out of the boat and onto the water. Freeing myself from the idols of my lifestyle and relationships. Putting one foot into the waves that could seemingly drown me. Putting my life into the hands of my Savior. Making myself truly Home. Free.
