Walking into the room I looked around the room to see rows of benches and tables set up like a classroom. At the front of the room was a whiteboard and off to the side was a desk for the teacher to sit at. We were told that this month we would be teaching English. I didn’t really know what that meant, but it sounded fun. Soon the students filed in, and my team of six eagerly greeted them. The students responded with bashful smiles and small “hellos.” Class began. “Hello. My name is…. What’s your name?” “Hello….. My name is Grace. Nice to meet you.” We practiced over and over as a class and then split into our small groups to further conquer our small conversations. Over the next few days I started noticing a pattern. Students would tell us their names, and then tell us the meaning of their name. It was almost more important for us to know the meaning than for us to know their actual name. “My name means flower.” “My name means beautiful.” “What does your name mean?”
“My name means…. well.. uh… it means grace. You know….” Expectant faces would stare into my eyes as I attempted to explain grace. Suddenly, all of the well-defined acronyms I had learned in Bible college didn’t seem to make any sense. It’s one of the core differences between Christianity and other religions of the world, yet I couldn’t even say that I fully understood it… yet here I was trying to explain it. In that moment, I realized that grace isn’t meant to be explained but is instead meant to be practiced.
“Grace is like when someone says really mean things about you, and instead of lashing out against them you respond with the gift of kindness and seek reconciliation with them.” Now, let’s be honest. If you’re saying less than glowing things about me, I’m not trying to be your friend. One of the things I struggle with the most is giving grace. It’s ironic isn’t it? Grace struggles with giving grace.. But there it is.
My grace is so selective. The high school girl that ended up pregnant because she made a mistake… I got grace all day. The white privileged male who’s runnin his mouth about other races… Bout to cut you down to size bro. Trying to come up with examples of grace was a really good time for me to reflect on how much grace I have shown and am currently showing in my own life. Because as much as my justice- loving nature would love to justify all the times I have defended my well-defined values…. well…. sometimes a spoonful of grace would have done much more for the kingdom.
I’m still learning how to practice grace. Sometimes I just flat out don’t want to extend it. But then there’s just something about the fact that there was this entire human race of people who didn’t really know about God and didn’t care to know Him and had in fact done a lot of things to offend Him, and He gave the most precious gift that He had in hopes of having a relationship with them…. with me. May those who have been given grace make the choice to extend it.
