It would appear that time will keep going on with or without my approval.
I’ve been back from training camp for a couple weeks now and have procrastinated on writing this post for many reasons. Training Camp was honestly one of the hardest times I have ever gone through in my life. In every way, it pushed me to my limits. I couldn’t tell you how many times I wanted to give up. I couldn’t help but question whether I was strong enough for the World Race.
Then I realized that I’m not.
I was totally removed from my community back home and thrown into a life of constant community composed of people new to me, daily exercise in the intense Georgia heat, and sessions of worship that totally broke me.
It was in this place of total exhaustion that the Lord revealed to me that without my realizing it, I had made my life in Kansas and the people there that I love my entire identity. Training Camp took all of that away to show me that in the end, my identity needs to be placed in my heavenly Father because He is the only thing I am promised without fail. If I put anything or anyone else in that place, I will find myself disappointed, hurt, and lost.
But if I place my identity in my Father, I will find that in my weakness is where His power is made perfect. By recognizing that I am not strong enough by my own power, I can become a vessel for His power which far surpasses my understanding.
So that is what I am holding onto now. 12 days from now I leave behind the only life I’ve every known…and I know that I’m not strong enough to do this by my own power, so I’m choosing to allow the Lord in to carry me and show me that I’m not in this alone.
