I have lots of (figurative) hats.
I have my student hat. My barista hat. My photographer hat. And now I have a World Racer hat.
Sometimes it becomes overwhelming. In one week, I can have paintings to finish, a paper due, a choir concert, three photo sessions to edit and get back to people, and be working 26 hours. On top of that, I have to find the time to get my passport (and of course I didn’t go early enough, so I have to get it expedited) and I have to make sure I’m fundraising this whole time because I have a goal of having $6,000 due by May 22nd looming over my head (this is actually exactly what last week looked like).
In all of this crazy mess, it can be easy to lose sight of God’s work in my life. I’m constantly thinking about the next thing I have to do, running here, running there. Always do do do do do. Never rest (what even is Sabbath? I haven’t been able to have one of those in a while…). With all of this work that I’m doing, I find myself growing tired and just wanting to give up.
Not too long ago, God gave me a beautiful vision. In the vision, I was walking down a wooded path, foliage in full bloom, crisp air on my skin, simply resting in His wonderful presence. As I was walking, I looked to my side and Jesus was there. He took my hand, spun me in circles and we began to dance. It was the most comforting vision God had ever given me. I was right there with Jesus, literally being comforted in His embrace. What love I came to know more of because of that. Whenever I felt stress beginning to creep into my life, I would simply take a moment to remind myself of that vision, placing myself back in that moment with Jesus, and I would feel that joy and comforting love again.
But time passed and I lost sight of the vision. I let the stress of school, work, fundraising, and all the other chaos of my life invade and take over. It felt like everything was collapsing in on me…until I heard this song:
You steady me slow and sweet
We sway, You take the lead and I will follow
Finally ready now to close my eyes and just believe
That You won’t lead me where you don’t go
When my faith gets tired and my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round and remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me
And we dance
-“We Dance” by Steffany Frizzell Gretzinger & Bethel Music
I had been relying on my own strength for so long. Walking in this way brought me to a place of being helpless and exhausted. I found myself even questioning if I should be going on the World Race. Was I good enough to be doing this work? Was I equipped for the challenges I’d be facing? Did I have enough strength to even get to the start?
Those lyrics brought me right back into that vision God had given me. He reminded me of the song He wrote for me…the one where I get to dance with Jesus every day I choose to. I now see that I want to live a life in which I dance with Jesus every day. I want to seek rest in His embrace because I know that is the only place I will find true rest. I want to have such great faith in Jesus that I can close my eyes and know He is leading me to places that He will be doing great things in and through me. And I can have that faith because I have come to know the comforting love of my Lord, Jesus, who delights in me.
