Doors are barriers, creating a separation between two spaces. They act as protection, yet they also act as an invitation. Regardless, there is always something on the other side. There is always something they lead to. The figurative sense of this has been incredibly prevalent in my life the past few weeks.
Every day God has been giving and showing me “doors.” Some are harder to walk through than others. Some are more incredible than I could have ever imagined from the outside. But each one is an opportunity:
an opportunity to say yes
an opportunity to step out in faith
an opportunity to walk into what the Lord has for me.
About two weeks ago, we were being transported by boat from one place to the next. The ride was a little more than an hour each way. The scenery was incredible as we flew across the water, wind on my skin, mountains and huge rock faces passing by. Naturally I fell into a place of rest with the Lord, overwhelmed by His goodness. As I was spending time listening and talking with Him, He gave me a vision.
I was in a hallway of sorts and there were doors leading to multiple rooms. On the inside, some were messy and overwhelming. Some I didn’t even want to look at. I couldn’t even bring myself to get near to their doors. Some rooms had more doors inside that lead to more rooms.
This weird place full of rooms and doors was me. These were the rooms of my heart and soul.
The vision, in a sense, fast-forwarded to me leading Jesus into these rooms. He was picking things up off the floor and going over them with me. We discussed each “mess” and afterwards He carefully placed each on the shelf.
The rooms I once didn’t even want to walk near, the rooms I struggled to walk into with Him by my side, were put in order, their doors left wide open for everyone to see into.
God is asking me to let Him into my “rooms.” He wants me to let Him inside the deepest parts of myself, the places behind all of the doors, some that I didn’t even know were there.
And I want to. I’m ready.
I want to take His hand and walk into each room. I want to go through the mess and dirt and parts of my life and past I keep hidden. I want Him to come into every room and walk with me through them. I want Him to help me throw things out and put them back on their shelves. I want Him to do some deep cleaning by my side; to cleanse each and every part of me.
I want to be able to leave the doors open and invite others in. I want them to see that what once was, is now organized.
Now I can use it for His glory,
pointing to what He can do
and has done for me.
I don’t want those rooms and the fear of going inside to have a grip on my life anymore. These things may still be apart of me, but they don’t define who I am.
Recently God showed me a room – a part of myself that I was afraid to let Him into. For a while, I was looking for love, acceptance, and affirmation in the wrong places. I’ve seen how detrimental that “searching” was to me. I broke myself and now it’s breaking me to realize it; to go back and actually face it.
But I’m letting God come into that.
I’m letting Him heal those parts of my life. I don’t fully know how the whole process will look or how long it will take, but I have opened the door and walked inside with Him. Already He has spoken life over me and shown how He redeems me.
“Praise the Lord, O my Soul . . . who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things.” Psalm 103:3-5
“He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains.” Psalm 107:14
“He sent forth His word and healed them; He rescued them from the grave.” Psalm 107:20
I am realizing that my decisions aren’t who I am today. I’m living a completely different life. I’m choosing to follow Jesus. I’m choosing work. I’m choosing the hard path. I’m not choosing to look to unhealthy relationships, pleasing people, or what the world tells me I should be doing. I’m looking to my Father.
He settled my value at the cross.
He settled my worth the day He chose to die for me.
During worship one day God very clearly spoke to me:
“Stop dwelling on my grace
and start walking like
you already have it.”
Dang, He’s good. We sometimes spend so much time dwelling on His grace, that we don’t move forward. We thank Him and ask for forgiveness over and over again. But it’s already been given.
Stop walking like a guilt-ridden sinner and start walking like a redeemed child of the King.
I’ve gotten a taste of His freedom and now I want all of it. I want to walk, actually run, in His freedom every single day.
God has shown me I can confidently walk through any door. The Holy Spirit is actively dwelling inside of me and the Father is going before, behind and beside me. There’s nothing on the other side He hasn’t equipped me to face.
There’s no room too scary and too messy for Him. There’s no place He can’t clean up. There’s absolutely no person or sin He can’t redeem.
God gives us doors every day. Sometimes He wants us to step into something He has for us. Sometimes He wants us to let Him into our own. It’s our choice whether or not to open them.
Trust Him. Take His hand. Walk through the door.
Where is God asking you to let Him into? What parts of you need His cleaning and healing? What opportunities is God giving you each day to step into?
