The Lord has been teaching me so much during my time in Thailand. I came on the Race expecting to change other people lives, and while God has used me to do that, it’s been way more about changing my own life. At my training camp, they gave the water hose analogy. For that week, it’s like we were standing in front of a water hose, being blasted with good stuff and trying to catch and soak up whatever we could. I fell like I’m still being blasted with that hose.
I could sit and talk about everything I’ve been learning for hours, but I’ll just hit you with the “big” points. So here’s what The Lord has been teaching me about in Thailand:
– The Word. Holy crap, this is an incredible resource. I have a newfound desire to know as much of it as I can. Not to just know and read, but to truly understand and grasp; to fight through the parts that I struggle to understand; to apply hard truths to my life and be willing to change my perspective; to be able to back up what I believe; to know and understand more of who God is, who I am called to be, and how to live this thing called life on Earth. It’s incredible and I can’t get enough of it.
– Hope. It’s a word I’ve grown up hearing about, but never truly understood. Y’all hope is an amazing thing. We have this unbelievable hope in God. No matter where we are or what we’re going through, we have the same living hope. It’s living because it’s not something we produce on our own. It’s a promise that one day will be fulfilled. One day we will stand face to face with our Father, named as co-heirs with Jesus. He never fails. He is always steadfast and He is always the same. He doesn’t make empty promises.
– Kingdom Come. This is the heart cry of my entire life. This is what I want to seek out every single day. I want to bring the Kingdom. I had this picture of how that looked, and I’m realizing I was so narrow minded. Bringing the Kingdom isn’t always about going to the masses, feeding the hungry, loving on the orphans, and clothing the naked. Those are so important and so amazing, but sometimes it’s different. Sometimes it’s about the one person right in front of you. Sometimes it’s taking some of their burden and encouraging them. Sometimes it’s just loving that one person. Sometimes it’s just one life. But one life is so important. One life is worth a thousand in the Kingdom. It places such an urgency and importance on how you walk and interact.
– Loving and leading. I’ve been learning more and more about what it looks like to lead those around me. I’ve learned what it looks like to lead in brokenness. I’ve learned what it means to call people higher and challenge them. I’ve learned that I’m on my own journey as well and I can’t force anyone into anything. The best way to challenge people is to be consistent in my own journey with and pursuit of The Lord. I’ve also fallen in love with my team. We struggled in the beginning, but Thailand has been a different story. We’re fighting for each other. I love their hearts. I love laughing with them. I love hearing God speak through them. I love our hard uncomfortable moments. I love that I get to spend nine months living, loving, and serving beside them. Sometimes it’s hard. We get annoyed and frustrated. We fight over dumb things. But I wasn’t called to “easy.” Love isn’t always a feeling, it’s a decision.
– Rejoicing. It can be done in any circumstances. It can be done because of that hope I talked about. We don’t have to ignore suffering, but we do know it will end. We do know we are unbelievably loved and pursued by the King of all Kings. Your situation may not be ideal, but choosing to be positive and rejoice in The Lord can turn you around so fast. Suffering produces so much in us. Jesus suffered, therefore we are called to also. And why would we ever deny the opportunity to become more like Him and live like Him? It’s about perseverance. Choose in. Push in. Grow. Use God for strength because in our weakness, He is made strong. He loves to provide what we need before we even know we needed it.
– Passion. God fuels that. I’ve fallen in love with Him over and over again here. I have an intense desire to serve Him and serve others because of Him. I can’t get enough of Him. I have to tell everyone about Him. They need to know what I know. I have fourth months left on the Race. I’m determined to make them the best four months. I’m determined to sell out for the sake of a Father who sold everything for us.
– Necessary Dependence. This one is good. Like really good and really terrifying. I need God. I need Jesus. I need the Holy Spirit. I don’t just need them, I have to have them. It’s necessary and vital to everything I do now. I missed two days without spending time with The Lord. What happened? I was a wreck; a literal walking mess. I was useless and exhausted and burnt out. I don’t have love to love teammate through irritations. I don’t have joy to be positive and rejoice in every situation. I don’t have strength to make every thought, word, and action obedient to God. I don’t have words to say to my teammates when their struggling. I don’t have wisdom to lead and guide. Only God does. We can only give away what we have. I must receive from Him before I can give anything of value away.
Thailand has been such a whirlwind of emotions and go go go. I fell in love with this place. I literally love Thailand. In one short week, I’ll be saying my goodbyes to the incredible family I’ve stayed with and boarding a bus to Chang Mai. I’ll be spending a week doing ministry alongside my parents, with over 3/4 of my squadmates and their parents as well.
After that, I head to weeklong debrief with 40 of my favorite people in the whole world. Then were off to Africa, the final leg of this amazing journey, where we get to light the place up. My brain can’t really handle it. I freak out if I think too long about it. But it’s coming and it’s so exciting. So prayers are needed and appreciated more than ever right now.
