I am fast approaching the period of time where I will no
longer be able to brag about where I was this time last year. It’s September
now, meaning last year at this time I was in Romania with Team Unshakeable,
being challenged to actually walk in all the Lord has given me. To be a prayer
warrior. To be creative. To step up and organize a worship night (Yay Christmas
in September). To know my identity and my gifting and to choose into that EVERY
SINGLE DAY. I am chuckling at myself because this time last year my squad
leader and I committed to praying together every day-I think I actually prayed
with her maybe two or three times. Oops.
But now, a year later, I am in a season of my life where I
absolutely have to believe truth and walk in it. How can you lead people if you
are not leading by example? I have to pray. Where we are in Guatemala-Puerto
Barrios-is a very dark place spiritually. But it has been said over our team
that we walk in abundance and that we will bring abundance to Guatemala (and
not just because there are 23 of us!). So I will pray for my team, for our
contacts, for this city. I will speak an abundance of life and joy and peace
and grace and unity over us.
Through the training camp process (where I’ve been the last
week), God has been so good at showing me where He has grown me and how He has
prepared me for this season. I KNOW if you had told me this time last year I
would be leading a real life trip this fall, I would have chuckled at you. The
funny part is people on my squad were applying to lead real life trips, to
squad lead, etc, and I was still stuck in this lie of unworthiness and not
accepting that if God calls you to it, He equips you for it and guides you
through it. But I broke that off, busted through it, and now I get to help
others do the same.
I can see how God has prepared me. I am starting to see why
this is my team, and especially why these 15 girls (yes, 15!) and 6 men are
here and why we (Julian and myself) are their leaders.
I can see how the time at home WAS NOT wasted. I can see how
my trip to Peru opened my eyes to God’s calling on my life. I am seeing more
and more how each part of the last seasons of my life has prepared me for this
time. I was just listening to The Anthem (I know, again) by Jake Hamilton and
once more-Wake Up Child (God totally re-woke me up), It’s your time to shine, You
were born for such a time as this.
What is currently blowing my mind is that the Lord already
knew I’d be here. Last year when I stared at my squadmates applying to lead
trips and thinking enviously I’d like to do that but I’m not ready…that God
knew I would be here. I don’t think I was ready last fall. I needed to still
walk through some brokenness, some healing and some more freedom (always more
freedom!). I needed to receive the wisdom to lead this, to walk through it
myself. But now, I am here and ready or not, here it goes. I am excited, I am
in awe of how God has moved, and I am trusting He will continue to do so. So
let’s go!
