Fear (Not)

When I was five years old, I went skiing at Heavenly Ski
Resort in Lake Tahoe, CA. I had been skiing for two years at this point, so I
was reasonably good. When you are little and close to the ground, falling doesn’t
seem so bad. In fact, the first thing they teach you is how to fall. You don’t
really have a sense of fear or danger-you just go for it.

That day, I was skiing with my uncle. We were on our last
run, one that wrapped around the mountain leisurely and was easy for his knees
and fun for me. I wasn’t as familiar with this resort as others, and took a
wrong turn down the mountain. Instead of an easy green, I found myself on a
black diamond.

But I didn’t know it-all I could see were the moguls in
front of me, and I made my way down slowly but surely, using my French fries
and pizza wedges to get down the hill. I sang to myself to stay focused and
relaxed. I managed to stay up the whole time. My poor uncle had no choice but
to follow behind me, falling down a few times. He noticed the men up on the ski
chair clapping as this little body meandered down the hill.

When I got to the end, I fell down. I was utterly exhausted,
but I had made it down, by keeping my eyes on the road and a song in my heart.
I did not fear, for I did not know I needed to be afraid. I thought I was still
on the green slope-I had no idea it had been a black diamond. When my uncle
found me, he was exhausted too. But we both had done it, without hurting
ourselves or anyone else.

I was reminded of this story yesterday while we were
go-karting and rollerskating. I was going slow, being very careful, very afraid
of crashing or falling. I generally pinpoint this ski experience as the moment
I realized how much I hate to fall. It is hard to get back up again, and
therefore, why fall? Instead,  I learned
to play it safe-not taking chances, not letting myself fall or fail.

This is not God’s design. When we fall, HE picks us back up.
When we fail, He gives us a second chance. It is only through taking risks and
falling or failing that we learn. While it is smart to take some curves slow
and to warm up while skating, these precautions should not prevent us from
taking chances or living life.

It is one of my prayers and goals this year to learn to
trust God enough to take chances. To live life to the fullest without being
afraid of consequences. To try and fall, to attempt and fail, but to learn that
God’s grace is inexhaustible-we can never use it up!

                                                           

So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I
am your God. –Isaiah 41:10