I love to read. I don’t really remember the
process of learning to read. It seemed like one day I couldn’t and the next day
I could and the week after I was consuming chapter books, reading one after
another, escaping to the worlds of Stoneybrook, Connecticut, early America, the
Jewish resistance during World War II or later on, Hogwarts or Middle Earth.
Reading provided a way out of my comfortable suburban existence-to explore new
worlds without leaving the comfort of my bed, to live vicariously through
characters as they took off on adventures around the world or even just in
their own backyard.
Being an only child, reading was an easy way to entertain myself.
It didn’t require anyone but me, and allowed my imagination to soar-to reach
new heights while saving on the airline tickets. Reading also instilled a
desire for adventure-to see what I read in books for myself. It propelled me to
leave the comfort of my own home and see what the world might have in store for
me.
One of my favorite types of books is
Christian romance novels. I know, super cheesy, but the unifying theme through
many of them is two-fold: 1) God loves you more than any person, even the
perfect person, possibly could, and 2) When we let God write the love story, it
is more beautiful than anything we could have imagined.
I bring all this up because in between
ministry the past six weeks, I have spent a lot of my free time reading. Today,
for example, I finished re-reading Redeeming Love (for the third time). Yet
again, I was struck by God’s relentless love for me. He will never let me
go-his plans are great for me. His thoughts of me outnumber the stars, and no
one, not even my future husband, (God willing), will love me more than he does.
This love is so unfathomable, and yet so true. I felt it while cruising down
the river in Brisbane last week, and I feel it again as I read this book. While
not the Bible-where God’s love is perpetually revealed-it does still speak to
the story of God’s love for his people.
My desire the past few months has been to
know what this is like. What does it feel to be God’s beloved. What does it
look like? What does it take from me? What is it like to hear his voice
whispering in my ear, to see his presence in my mind’s eye, to know he really
is with me every step of the day? What is it like to feel his touch in a wind
whistling past my face, or smell a flower he has created, and know he is
waiting for me with far more beauty and love?
I want to know. I want to see. I want to
touch. I want to hear. I want to experience this-being a beloved. At training
camp, God told me I am a beloved daughter of His-the king. I am a princess. I
am a co-heir with Christ. He has blessed me with this relationship-what am I
doing with it? What will I do with it?
“I will betroth you to me forever; I will
betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will
betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord.” Hosea 2:19-20
