Let’s conduct an experiment.
What if I lived like I did on the race this week?
What if I went to bed tonight praying about what I am going to tomorrow morning?
What if I woke up and had an intentional time of worship and prayer?
What if I meditated on the truth?
What if I made fellowship a priority?
What if I took a walk and pray over the streets I roam?
What if I asked God to give me an opportunity to show someone his heart for them during the day?
What if I did a little research on the country, government, culture, and language I’m surrounded by?
What if I intentionally reached out to local believers to find out how I could encourage them?
What if I looked into local organizations and individuals who are making a difference in the community I’m in and volunteered to help however I can?
What if I invited the people around me to take part in those things as well?
What if I took time to reflect and remember the ways that God provided throughout the day, week, month, etc?
What if I asked God what I can do better at my job? What could I do that would leave it better than when I walked in?
Since I’ve been “home” in St. Louis, there’s been a war waging in my heart. The familiar has rushed in like a flood, sometimes making me ask “did this past year really happen?” What I know to be memories almost feel like an extravagant dream, the kind you wake up hoping you’ll never forget. The dreams and plans that were planted and nurtured during the race, that I saw coming right around the corner, now feel lightyears away. The word “practical” feels like an hundred pound anvil, as it tumbles out of my lips and lands on my feet, securing them fast to the ground where I stand.
Bills, schedules, and appointments shout loudly, “This isn’t the same, you’re not put on the field anymore! This is real life now!” And the fact that I can understand the language they speak, seems only to prove their point. (A little WR humor, there ;-). But I know better. As crazy, wild, unbelievable and indescribable this past year was, if there was anything I learned, it was that “real life” is not everything I had been told it was by the world around me. It was the realization that the Kingdom of God is as real as it gets. I saw the difference between offering bread to a hungry person who is ashamed of their hunger and offering bread in love to a person who has lost sight of their identity. I saw the difference between well wishes based on false hope and prayers full of promise. I saw the difference between numbness of mind and peace of mind. I saw the difference between accomplishment and fulfillment. Yes, by all outward appearances, these things can look similar. But the reality is that “real life” is so much richer than the shadows we settle for so often. Perspective shifts everything. So I commit to leave not one of these “what if” leaves unturned. Because I want real life.
*Real Life Update*
I know I’m a “thoughts blogger” and sometimes I share the thought process I’m going through without any details about what’s going on in my day to day! After all, you guys supported me through this last year and I want to keep you in the loop about what’s going on, and what’s coming next!
I’ve been stateside for about three months now! It’s crazy how time flies. When I arrived home, I took about a month to see family, friends and to adjust to living in the US again. About a month after arriving home, I went to Project Searchlight, in Gainesville, GA, a gathering for new alumni racers to check in and be encouraged after a month of being home.After that, it was a flurry of finding a car, insurance, activating accounts, replacing lost things, getting rid of unneeded things, etc. I had a couple opportunities to speak to my church congregation about my trip, and have been able to get in on some worship and prayer events as well. In early August, I began working at an awesome place as a Paraprofessional, working with Children on the Autism Spectrum. This has been a big challenge, but a rewarding and exciting one.
There’s definitely been a lot of struggling emotionally, trying to figure out life at a completely different pace, and not being surrounded by the people who you experienced a life-altering year with 24/7. I know it takes time. And the Father just keeps talking to me about seeking after him day after day, not living from yesterdays mana if you will.
I am at the point now where I’m craving connection. I want to dive head first into what God’s doing here, where I am. So what this blog spoke to earlier is my plan of action.
I definitely have a lot of desires that I will hopefully have the opportunity to expand on a little in the future. Traveling, studying, and the like. But for now, this is my update! I appreciate you all so much! Don’t hesitate to reach out.
