Adventures In Missions always makes it their mission to leave a place better than they found it. As a missionary representing them, I did everything in me to do that. I think Nsoko, Swaziland did a pretty dang good job of sending me off better than I came.
After I understood that peace was a fruit of the Spirit and not a place, I started to allow myself to actually face the reality of leaving this beautiful country, and the beautiful souls that call this place home. As I am typing I have not 100% fully processed this past month, but I am getting there. But also, will I ever fully heal from my broken heart that yearns to be with and serve the souls of Nsoko, Swaziland?
I genuinely feel like I left apart of my heart in that country, and thats the most beautiful thing about getting to call places all over the world “home”. There are things you hear about poverty, but running to it with wide arms shows you a whole lot more than just statistics. when you see the pain and the illness taken on everyday of children who are too weak to even fight on their own. when you see children fighting for one meal a day, even if its the same rice and beans over and over again. when you hear the story of children losing parents and siblings to HIV and AIDS. when some of the children are dealing with emotional and physical trauma from abusive parents. when one of the children comes up to you smiling, with two black eyes, most likely from home. when you are asked to adopt a child and become their mother, and you have to reject, it hits different. when you live these sentences day to day you cannot stay the same. I cannot and I will not stay quiet or lose focus on how Gods heart is broken for this.
The little girl on the left of this picture is sweet little Teylagusau. She is five years old and she is the spunkiest little thing, but also really desires to be held close and just loved on. I would see her two times a day and would spend countless minutes just planting kisses all over her face. she would always laugh and sometimes push away, but no matter what she always came up to me every morning with her arms up and ready to jump into my arms. we said goodbye to our carepoint on friday, so i wrote her a note, gave her hugs and kisses, and walked out the door without trying to explode with emotions. on tuesday I was walking down the street and I hear “ZOR-ZA” so i turn around as she jumps into my arms. i held her for a few minutes as she pulled my hair out of my face and just cupped my face in her arms, looking into my eyes. then she started attacking my face and neck in kisses. I was wrecked is an understatement. In this moment I knew that God showed her love through me, and thats one of the reasons i was sent to Africa this summer. our one last goodbye ended with a reminder of the promise that God was going to show His love through me. my biggest prayer is that she doesn’t see Georgia but she sees God, and i am believing in that.
I was walking down the street on the same day and a go-go (grandma) stopped us. She was holding my hand and telling me over and over that she was so glad she met us, and she was so sad to see us leave so soon. she went on and on about how much she loves us and how loved we are. we exchanged hugs many times over and over and then she cupped my face and said “the next time I see you we will be dancing in Heaven together” we both smiled so big and went in for one last hug. once again, WRECKED.
The best news is, God choses me to spend time with His children. just like He choses you. Even though goodbyes are hard, God will provide for them more than I ever could. God is going to love on them more than I ever could. God is going to hold them tighter than I ever could. Heaven is going to be one heck of a party and as far as I can tell, its going to involve a lot of smiling go-gos and hugs and kisses all over the face. I can’t wait to see my Swaziland again, even if that means in Heaven. Jesus always wins. and because He always wins, this story is not over, and in fact, it is just the beginning, and the wildfire of love is spreading now in Nsoko, especially through hugs and kisses.
