It has been a year since I came across The World Race. In that year God has turned my life upside down for the good. He has brought me people in my life that have prayed, encouraged, and have loved me even without meeting personally. I believe this is something that is needed in the body of Christ. But, at the same time it has brought some tears, frustration, and angst. In this year God has brought me to point of brokenness. The truth is I am broken. There are so many pieces that I have tried putting back together on my own without any success. I have tried doing so many things in my life on my own. I thought I could heal my own wounds, when some of these wounds have been the consequences of my own actions.
I came across a program called Celebrate Recovery. It is a 12 step program that is biblically based that is to help overcome abuse, addictions, and so much more. Initially I was only going to be in it till my launch in July, but God had something else in mind. I fought him for a few weeks, I thought I could convince Him what was best for me, but every time I failed miserably. Ha, I laugh at myself now for trying to convince God of what was good for me. But, in the quiet moments God spoke these verses into my heart “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” Jeremiah 1:5 and “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28. That is when all my angst and all my sadness and my pride were shot to the ground. HELLO!!!! He knows me, he knows what is best for me! Why on earth would I tell him what is best for me? When it is so obvious I have not done a good job myself.
This program that I am now in, is a year long program and after asking God for His will to be fulfilled in my life and not my own I will see this program through. I know with all my heart God will use this time to bring healing in areas of my life I thought didn’t need any. He will break off the chains of addictions and He will restore my life and bring me to my fullest potential to live for Him, in Him, and carry out His word to the nations.
I believe with all my heart that God has called me to missions. But, I also know some callings don’t come easily. I know that I was rushing to His calling without realizing that God has his own way of making things happen. I will trust in his process and in his plans. No matter how painful it may be I will cling to “this Hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast…” Hebrews 6:19
It has been so hard to change routes for the second time. I think this time was harder than the last, meeting squad mates you wont get the chance to do this with, but knowing with all your being this is what is best. NOT because I say so, but because GOD the creator of all things and the one who created me SAYS SO.
This is were I say I have changed routes and launch to January 2016 to route 1. Which is funny, because it is so similar to the first route I had initially chosen.
For now I ask you brothers and sisters to pray for me. I want to thank those who have donated, encouraged me, and simply have been there for me since the beginning. God is not done, and I know it has been a long and rocky journey but it is not over and I hope that you will continue to be with me for the rest of it.
Thank You and God Bless!
