I laid in a hospital bed in Dominican Republic and all I could think of “God, what on earth am I doing on the race?” “Am I where you need me to be?” “I don’t know what am I doing?” “What are you trying to teach me?” “God, just bring healing!” “WHERE ARE YOU AND WHY HAVE YOU LEFT ME?”
Before the race I thought I had it all figured out, all the things I would do in order to be healthy, all the things I would avoid so I wouldn’t be sick and all that went down the drain two and half weeks into our first month.
“Haha, good one God” I thought, can you just heal me already, I know you can. So, can you just heal me so I can begin to do ministry again. Every time I asked, God wouldn’t respond. So I pressed on and the day came when I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I broke down and went to the ER, there I was just given shots on my butt and a breathing treatment. The way I felt after made me feel like God had shifted and I was getting better. But, that was just a bluff.
A couple of days later the storm came in stronger and I felt my guard crumble to the ground when I heard the words “you have to be hospitalized.” A wave of fear came over me and I began to cry in the middle of the waiting room. In that moment my team mate who came with me held me in her arms and began to pray. In that moment the wave of fear ceased and it was overcome by the peace of the most high. I was reminded of how great our God truly is and even though I was heading into the storm God was with me and His peace cradled me in a way it had never before.
I was admitted to the hospital with bronchitis and pneumonia. I walked into the room and all I wanted to do is crawl into bed and cry till there were no more tears but, I just couldn’t let the tears come down. I was still afraid and even though I could speak Spanish it was completely different. “God” i thought “I am putting my trust in you and in you I will find my hope. Teach all that you want me to learn in this season” and He didn’t fail to do so.
I was taught to release control. To trust Him beyond my understanding. To let others pour into me and love me and care for me. Things that had become foreign to me and I just didn’t know they were.
I spent three days in the hospital with my squad leader Sara, who became the best companion ever. Listening to worship and being in prayer and just talking about the things of God that still amaze me everyday.
While being in the hospital I learned one thing that will stay with me forever “the power of praying over yourself.” I had said it once “we are quick to ask for prayers instead of praying for ourself” and it wasn’t until I was in a hospital bed when I realized I hadn’t been intentional about praying for myself until I was in a situation in which I was desperate.
So after three days I was ready to head to debrief in Boca Chica and from debrief heading to Haiti. This journey is filled with highs and lows but, in the end all the lows are worth all the highs. When you hit rock bottom you’ll live the highs to the fullest.
So even though I’m in my last week in Haiti this experience feels like it was just yesterday. I am restored and back to being able to be with my team and squad and continue to be on this journey.
I want to thank all the people who have donated and continue to bless me with your prayers. God made this happen and it was only him who could have given me the chance to be here. But, the time has come to start fundraising again. I have about $5,089 to reach for my third deadline. So please join me in this journey and consider donating! I can’t do this without you! Thank you and many many blessings to you!
Keep me in your prayers as we wrap up our last week in Haiti and head to Costa Rica for our third month!!
