Word: conventional
I chose this word to describe my last week or so because it seems to be the most consistent thing that God is teaching me. Despite the unconventionality of my year long program, this month in Romania has allowed for a little more structure and normal living than the past month.
When we first arrived in Romania for all squad month, we had a schedule set. This was so helpful for my structure loving mind. The schedule is 9:30-11:30 meeting at the church everyday, 12:00 -3:00 off for lunch, and 3:00-7:00 doing different ministries mostly out in villages or in the town of Draganesti. Although our afternoons were different everyday, we had a time structure. The ministries have been exciting because there is so much variety. Some of the ministries I have been involved with include… working in corn fields, passing out flyers for a church music event, some social media work for the church, kids ministry, prison ministry, going to a joint church service in another town, and helping some widows with gardening! Everyday has been different in terms of what I do in the afternoon, but a few things have stayed consistent.
Although the days look different here in Romania, some things are controllable and those are the habits formed to make life look a bit more “conventional.” I had a goal at the beginning of the month to start some healthy habits. The three things I wanted to focus on were reading the Bible and being with God, working out, and getting more sleep. For those of you who know me, you know that I don’t keep regular schedules very well, but miraculously this month I kind of have! These things have started to become a place of comfort for me because they put in a bit of control into a year that feels very out of control. These habits are really helping me to grow in my spiritual, emotional and physical health! Yay for having a public health brain that knows these are all connected 🙂
My habits-
– I have been reading Acts. It is pretty interesting and I am learning. I am not putting pressure on myself to memorize the scripture, but just beginning a regular habit so that God can speak to me. For too much of my life I have not been in a good habit of reading because I have felt ashamed about how much I don’t know from scripture. I am acknowledging this shame and pushing past.
– During our lunch break, I have been running sometimes alone, sometimes with people every other day. I get to listen to my music, see some open land, and get to know some new people.
– I have been prioritizing getting to bed at a decent time and getting at least 7 hours. This was also inspired by my previous blog (if you don’t understand this, check out the previous blog).
The other reason why I wanted to title this blog conventional is because I am finding myself craving a normal, ordinary, or even “conventional” life. It is ironic because I am currently living a life of constant change and variety, not really living the conventional lifestyle this year lol. However, I am becoming intrigued by the beauty of living a simple and ordinary life with God. For those of you who know me, you may laugh at this. For much of my life I have wanted nothing to do with the ordinary. Honestly, part of why I wanted to do this year is because I was so afraid of falling into “normal” life, afraid of being stuck or stagnant. But now I find myself less afraid of this conventionality and in fact intrigued by it. I am intrigued by the simple day to day life with God. There is an honor and respect to this simplicity. I am so excited for the days of normalcy, routine, living life together with people who know me very well, going to church, going to work, a mundane life. This really makes me question what conventionality even is and why me and many of my generation do not want normalcy.
I am also realizing that unconventionality is found anywhere. My life will not be stagnant. I am pretty confident that God really is teaching us, molding us, and challenging us all the time. And I have learned enough about how important it is to be outside my comfort zone that I would input this into my life if it was becoming too stagnant. Life is unconventional no matter what and maybe it is those simple and routine habits that are actually the key to living an unconventional life.
This goes hand in hand with my recent interest in practicing listening for God everyday in the little things. A passage from 1 Kings 19:11-12 has taught me a lot. It reads…
The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
Right now, God is teaching me to rest, keep up with my habits, and look for Him in small things all the time. I am learning to listen to the whispers so that I can develop a listening lifestyle. A lifestyle that is sustainable for a lifetime of resilient faith.
Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.
