In the last few months, I’ve hit so many hurdles preparing for the race. Emotional, spiritual, physical. Through it all, God has shown Himself to be true. Every time I have asked, I received. He is revealing to me the provider side of Himself, the Yahweh Yireh.
And it is beautiful to watch the change in myself. I am a completely different person than I was a month ago even.
My most recent fundraiser was similar to an adopt-a-box in that I drew pieces of my gear that I still needed to purchase, attached prices to them and posted them on Instagram (@gemmafolsom). I hadn’t done a fundraiser in months because I was afraid it wouldn’t work or I didn’t have ‘time’. Did I think the rest of my donations were just going to fall out of the sky? Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking.
I was overwhelmed with thankfulness when over half of my gear was sponsored by my beautiful followers, friends, and family in less than 4 hours. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Abba was just waiting for me to have a means to pour into me from His endless resources.
But the sad thing is this. I didn’t trust Jesus enough to provide in those fundraising moments. I shake my head at my old self now but the truth is I was scared. Why in the world would I be hesitant to trust Him with providing for this trip when He constantly provides for others and did what only He could do for those 5,000 hungry people.
I let a little doubt manifest into a cloud that blocked me from remembering the truth that Jesus loves to turn nothing into something and all He needs is a tiny mustard seed of faith and I didn’t even have that. As I grew exhausted of doubting, I humbled myself, shifted my attitude and blessed the fundraiser before I posted it. I could not believe the response.
Yahweh Yireh provided my goal and then some. I remember going outside later and seeing the first sunset I’ve seen in a while and the Holy Spirit was just talking to me at a million miles an hour saying “Don’t worry, I’ve got this,” “I’ve missed you, I’m so glad you are back!” “I’m so excited to share more with you.”
Trust is a simple concept, well not really. It’s simple in that one must give all burdens, all worries, all everything over to another. Dictionary.com defines: “to rely on truth”. And the Bible says in Joshua 1:9 ‘Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”‘ Essentially to rely on God’s truth is to trust that He means what He says, then we don’t have to live our live dependant on our own strength. (Thank goodness)
Words cannot describe how thankful I feel right now. So I’ll leave you with internet hugs and my grateful heart exploding with joy.
Love always,
Gemma
