Hello! It has been a few months since we last sat down together. A lot has happened this winter; I’m here to share some of my thoughts, realizations & yearnings!
As much as I look forward to the shift in seasons, I dread it while I’m in its midst. It is as if nothing is ever enough, the winter is too cold, summer too hot etc. This year is no different in that nothing I do seems to fill that ‘enoughness’ void.
In this season, God has been guiding me gently into a deeper relationship with Him. For the first couple months I had been spending less and less time in the word and more and more time on my phone, with friends or even thinking about reading my Bible. To me, this felt like something I should be ashamed of because I am about to spend nine months abroad spreading the very Word I am not diving into daily. I felt fake. Hearing the praise reports of my friends, seeing the miracles they prayed for come forth, I couldn’t help but feel ten steps behind them. I’m learning that it is not my strength that was meant to carry me, but His alone. I’m also learning that there is value in a season of waiting. waiting for what? no clue. an answer? maybe. a new plan? maybe?
In a society of instant gratification, the words ‘waiting’ and ‘patience’ are not ones you’d like to hear, or even ones that come with positive connotations. BUT I’m finding peace in the waiting, knowing God’s not done working, He hasn’t left me, nor does He plan to.
It is now, mid-May, and I’ve decided enough is enough. I’m done with the shame that has built a wall around my heart, so I’ve come back to the well.
So this Summer, I pray that we break out of our cocoons of security, shake off the distractions and start this season of new life, with words that give life, not death. That we rejoice in the promises, and dance fields of confidence in the Lord. Let’s do this!
