I have been hesitant to write this blog since I had this experience a few weeks ago. Mainly because I was afraid that I would not be able to tell the story in a way that makes clear sense. So bare with me on this one.
I want to start out by saying that I am very skeptical. When other people talk about how God has spoken to them, or I experience it, I continually find myself trying to write it off as something else. But, I believe that what I experienced in the library a few weeks ago is nothing shy of a miracle.
On the day that all this happened I had been questioning everything about my relationship with God, and had essentially come to the point where I told him I didn't know what to believe, and was tired of searching for answers.
As I sat in my room working on my paper for my history class I paid little attention to the man who repeatedly walked by the window of my room. But, then he came up and knocked on the door. I thought oh man this guy is getting ready to tell me I have done something wrong and now I am in trouble. Then he asked if he could talk to me about something for a second. I then thought oh man this guy is about to start evangelizing to me. But, what happened next is something I don't think I'll ever forget.
Jeff was the man's name. He said that as he walked by the room I was sitting in he repeatedly felt God calling him to talk to me. And that each time he went to go back to work he continually felt pushed to go back to my room. He then went on to say he felt that God was telling him that I was struggling with something, and going against the grain. So I told him about how I had been wrestling with a lot of things in my mind, and how soon I would be going on The World Race.
As he talked he was staring at my notebook, but it seemed like he was looking at something somewhere else. He went on to say that even though I was struggling that God was contending for me. He said that even in our anguish we can see the beauty of God, just as David wrote many of his Psalms as he was in anguish. He said that God would use my transparency to bring people to him. I spent most of the time that Jeff was talking with my mouth wide open stunned and not really knowing what to say.
Jeff said a lot of things that day in the library, but this is most of what I can remember clearly. I believe if If Jeff had not had the courage to come to my room and speak with me that day I would not be continuing to seek God and pushing to go on The World Race.
I say all these things, and tell this story so that you also can know that even though we sometimes feel we have grown very far from God, he is still contending for us. Even when we are in anguish we can't give up, because that is when we often see the true beauty of God.
Thanks for reading my blogs!
If you feel led to donate towards my journey on The World Race, just click the "support me" link on the left side of the page.
Thanks again!
