A lot of times when things are on my mind I have to express them through writing, it is away of letting the paper soak up how my heart is feeling. Sunday night was a struggle for me, but also comforting night for me. About 3 weeks before launch for this journey my grandmother passed, and I felt like I was okay with it in my spirit because she has lived a long very inspiring life, she was 98 years old. At the time I had so much going on preparing for this trip that it never truly hit me until Sunday night. So to help me deal with how I was feeling, I wrote.
As I lay here alone clutching the clown you gave me when I was younger, I finally realized that you’re gone. Tears stream down my face as I think bout your touch, your smell, your spunk, and your warm embrace. You, my joy, my love, my inspiration has been called home. I find joy in knowing you are in no pain, and with my Father you rest, but still my heart aches. I guess you never truly grieve the lost of someone until you actually realize they’re gone!
Two weeks before I left, you laid on your bed, your body weak, but your spirit strong! That was the fighter in you, which carried until the end. You said,” ok, ok, Lord I’m ready!
I wish I had been able to tell you what was ahead for me, the things I will see and do. Instead, I get to carry you with me, and you have front row seats.
You are a true definition of a praying grandmother, and your prayers were not in vain. You have taught me to never take life for granted, keep God first, work hard, never give up, and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.
So, this my oath, Grandma I will never put anything before God, I will give 100% to anything I do, I will never give up regardless of my circumstances or obstacles ahead of me, I will live life to the fullest, and I will PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!
Your wisdom, knowledge, and love shall be carried to every village, nation, and country I step foot on and your legacy shall continue. This isn’t goodbye, but I will see you later!
GOD, LOVE, AND TRUTH ARE HERE! “Father we thank thee”
Sincerely,
Your Baby Girl
