You know the song – to everything turn, turn — when there is a season turn, turn….
Yeah – I have always disliked that song.
What the heck is so great about “seasons” anyway?
When I applied to the World Race, I thought it was crazy. I needed to be “responsible,” and “practical” — and, well, gallivanting around the world did not seam to fit that criteria.
At the same time I also applied to be a teacher with Teach For America. It is a government-run program that sends teachers into inner city schools that need help. It is like a domestic Peace Corps. I was accepted and received my top choice placement: Denver! But this World Race thing just kept on popping up and God would not let me forget about it. I kept on perusing both and asked the Lord to open and shut doors.
I applied for a one year deferment with Teach For America. TFA does not readily give deferments, and I told the Lord if He wanted me on the World Race that they would have to grant me one. The catch was in getting a deferment, I gave up my placement and would have to go through the placement process all over again. As I am writing this to you from Manila, you can pretty much gather what happened. I received my deferment, and as the Lord made it abundantly clear to me that He wanted me on the world race, I gave up TFA until the next year counting on getting placed in Denver again.
Well, I just heard back from TFA, and they placed me in Charlotte, North Carolina.
I was shocked and heart broken, as it was not even in my top 5 choices.
Being so far away and already missing places and people, it is hard to connect the fact that I would not be returning to Denver.
After many tears, emails (attempting to appeal what must have been a computer glitch), tantrums and conversations with God, the Lord made it very clear to me that Charlotte is where He wants me to be.
Shortly after, I accepted the position.
I will be teaching middle school history in Charlotte, North Carolina, and that is where I will be for the next two years. I will be moving there some time this summer.
I have come a long way from when I first found out, I am even starting to get excited about going to Charlotte!
Opportunity-wise it is also a better choice as I will be able to teach history ( I was going to be teaching special education in Denver). In Denver I would have to pay for my educational classes to get certified, but in Charlotte TFA has an agreement with a University so I can get my teaching licenser and possibly my Masters in Education (depending on what track I take) for free! Which is really great as I have many loans to pay back from under grad.
Not that it is not sad saying goodbye to Denver. It is a very special place in my heart as it is has been my home for the last five years and it holds some very dear friends and memories . There is something about the Rockies that brings peace to my soul and stillness to my wandering heart. They make me feel small, yet safe and inspired all at the same time. It has been my refuge and sanctuary.
I used to think that people saying something was a season was their explanation for something bad happening that they did not want to happen, and it was a way to justify and make themselves feel better.
But I am learning that life needs seasons, they are necessary for growth. I also thought a “season” had a bad connotation, that it meant the thing was bad or bad for me. Certain places and people are needed in life for a time.
Moving forward does not mean where I was was bad – I just need new challenges and places to grow.
It is hard for me to know when to let go and when to jump in. It takes me forever to jump in, but once I do I hold on tight. This can be a good thing, but it also makes it very hard to let go, even when I know I need to.
But I am finding that holding on to a season of life does a disservice to what that thing was in my life. I am not seeing it for what it was, and what God was showing me and doing in me. Moving on does not mean I need to forget where I have came from, but I need to live fully (heart, mind, and soul) where I am, and not in the past. In fully embracing this new season I am recognizing —
Winter is here and Spring is gone.
I have to stop pretending it is Spring or I will get frost bitten.
It is also interesting to look back and see the things that I ended up loving and needing the most have been things I have dragged my feet to do. I did not want to go to Colorado, I wanted to stay in Virginia. I did not want to come on the World Race, I wanted to stay in Denver. And so the cycle continues, but this time I am going to listen and not drag my feet. I want to get out of this next season everything the Lord wants to do in me and through me. For I know and trust that His plan is way better than anything I could think up.
So Charlotte, here I come!
And do not worry Rockies, myself and my snowboard will be regularly paying you a visit!
(Oh, and you Denver people, mark your calendars for I will be in Denver early August for my brother’s wedding)
Proverbs 16: 3
Commit to the Lord Whatever you do and your plans will succeed!
vs. 9 – In His heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines its steps.
— Oh, and although I have come to terms with seasons, I still am not a fan of the Beatles’ song —
