Last night I was tired, I really did not want to go out to the bars but I went anyway.
We went to this one bar, ironically called the JOY bar and hung out with some of the girls there. Most bars have games for the customers and the girls to play. Oddly enough, they usually consist of Connect Four, Jenga, a dice game, and a hammer & nails game.
I was playing Connect Four with one of the bar girls. She was older than most the girls who work in the bars, probably in her forties. Games are a great icebreaker, especially when there is a bit of a language barrier. Most girls speak English, but not many are fluent. Yes, she creamed me! Connect Four has never been my strong suit, but it gave her an opportunity to laugh at me. Thais like to laugh at you.
We started talking. Most girls love talking about their family, especially there children. They really light up when you ask to see pictures, which they usually have on hand or not far to retrieve to show. She has two daughters in Bangkok who are in school. She was very proud of them. She also used to be an accountant. She just came out and said she does not like working the bars and wants to leave. I told her about SHE. Immediately after giving her a card she put it in her purse, she was very excited about it. We left with the promise that she would come to lunch at the shop next week. We were blessed with many other good conversations with a couple of girls.
I left the bars with mixed emotions. My heart broke for the girls that I met; they are lovely and have so much potential. I wanted to just go curl up and cry. Yet at the same time I was also filled with a joy that I cannot explain. Even in this heavy place, with so much pain and loneliness I could feel and see God working in the lives of these women, calling them out. I could almost feel the battle raging around me.
I don’t understand, God, why?
The why’s and unknowns clamor in my brain.
God do you really see this girl, this one right in front of me?
Why must it be this way?
Why am I the privileged American with a social care system and a family that takes care of me, when this girl, this beautiful amazing Thai girl, is stuck in a place where selling ones body is the most viable way of making a good living, and it is completely socially and culturally acceptable and even condoned. To have this be the best option for your life, that you convince yourself this is your hope for survival.
But in the middle of all these questions I have to ask myself a question.
What do I know about God and His nature?
This is what I do know.
I know that God is good. He has proven Himself faithful to me. Here is here. He loves these people. The girl. The man. They are all His creation and He knew them before they were even born. I believe He will redeem them.
So the question now is not necessarily why God placed people in different places, but what am I going to do with the place He has put me in? Will I just sit in the gutter and cry over the desperation and get mad at God, and leave it at that?
Or will I wonder what is God doing here and how can I use what He has blessed me with to love these men and women?
