Someone once told me that in the Bible it says the phrase “Do not fear” 365 times. Enough times for each day of the year. I don’t know how many times it says “do not worry” but I imagine it’s probably a pretty high number.
This first month in Uganda that is the lesson that God has been teaching me, “Do not worry”.
At home I struggled with reading my Bible daily. It was a chore rather than a way to spend time with my heavenly Father. While on the Race I wanted to change that, so I started reading the New Testament, two chapters a day.
One morning I was really stressing about finances. I was trying to figure out whether or not I would have money left after finishing the Race to pay for textbooks and things for my final year of undergrad. I was spiraling into a bunch of worrying, pessimism, and despair because I had no idea how I was going to make all this work. Then in the middle of my internal rant I realized I hadn’t read my two chapters for the day yet, so I opened up my Bible and flipped to Matthew chapters 5 and 6. And the end of chapter 6 hit me like a ton of bricks.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you-you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:25-34
The verse that really gets me every time I read over this section is verse 37 “Can any one by worrying add a single hour to your life?”. Worrying is a huge part of my daily life, and it’s not something I’m proud of. This verse says it all. Worrying don’ts add anything to my life it only takes away from it. By worrying I’m using time and energy that could be put to use somewhere else and at the end of the day I’m exhausted from spending so much time over thinking things. Not only that but when I worry I lose my focus on Who is actually in control and instead attempt to rely on my own human instincts and strengths to figure things out, which usually makes things worse.
Okay now fast forward three days, it’s my turn to speak at morning chapel. Now I really don’t like public speaking in just about any setting it terrifies me and I’m always worried about whether what I’m going to say will make sense. So the last couple days I had been trying to figure out what the heck I was going to talk about and I just kept coming back to this passage because it was the most recent thing i had read that had stuck out to me so I decided to go with it. The night before the woman who was translating for me had asked what passage i would be talking about because she wanted to read it ahead of time. I ended up only telling her Matthew 6. The next morning she woke up along with all the girls an hour before chapel was supposed to start and read. She explained to the girls that she didn’t know the exact verses I would be teaching on, but she asked them to start reading at verse 25 and go to the end of the chapter. So these girls, who I was so concerned about not understanding my teaching, had read that passage for almost an hour before I started my talk! It’s crazy to think how God had been preparing their hearts while I was freaking out about what I was going to say.
Now fast forward to yesterday, Sunday night, we had left CVI and made it to our hostel in Kampala. Since we had good internet I wanted to check my bank accounts to make sure I had enough money to spend while we were here and to see if I needed to transfer money at all. So I checked both of my debit cards thinking that I had about $700 between the two of them to spend for the year, turns out I have over $900 total! Not including the money I’ve already withdrawn in Uganda, which brings the grand total up to about $1200! Thinking about it it really is kind of a simple thing but I’m absolutely amazed at how God has provided for me even in the little things, even when I’m not sure He will.
So as I move on to Rwanda I’m still learning how to give all my worries over to God, but if I ever forget that He is the One who provides I can just remember these two stories and know that even if it seems impossible He will give me what I need, exactly when I need it.
