Live with Abandonment

This picture, to me, shows complete abandonment. This is a monk’s robe that was left in the trees of the killing fields. The killing field is a monument in Cambodia that memorializes victims of the Khmer Rouge regime that took place in 1975 through 1979. During this time, thousands of Buddhist monks were forced from their study in temples and were forced to abandon their ways.

“Massive damage was done to Cambodian Buddhism during the Khmer Rouge regime between 1975 and 1979. Buddhist monks were forcibly removed from the wats (Buddhist temples) and made to do manual work (as were many other parts of the population). Religion was forbidden and temples were damaged or destroyed. It’s estimated that as many as 50,000 monks died or were killed during this time” (https://pharecircus.org/monks-life-cambodia/)

When I saw this robe hanging in the trees, I knew I had to take a picture. After taking the picture, I heard God say, “You’re going to write a story about this.” I didn’t know what the story would look like, so today I have searched to find a story through this picture. The word God spoke to me was abandon. What does abandon mean? The definition of abandon is to “give up completely (a practice or course of action).” 

First of all, monks choose to abandon the world when they become a monk. They go away to temples to study instead of engaging with the world like we all do. The orange robe hanging in the trees told me that there was a man somewhere that the robe belonged to, but he wasn’t wearing it. Through this picture, God told me that just like the monk abandoned the robe on the branch of the tree, I too can abandon the ways of the world and the comfort that I have found. Also, on the same tree that the robe was hanging on, there was a beautiful flower. And boy, this hit me hard. Although it is VERY hard to leave all of my comfort and everything I know and love, God has restoration and reconciliation on another branch of my life. He is NOT asking me to leave everything I know and love and I need to stop thinking that. He is simply asking me to “abide in Him.” 

God is telling me to live with abandon. Abandonment in this way is SO gorgeous and will produce so much fruit. When we choose to abandon everything we have to follow God, He will bring us out of what we experienced in order to bring us so much more. There is a song called “Live with Abandon” and the lyrics are,

Note to myself:

Just wait, Gabby. Walk slow and don’t rush things in your relationship with God. He will work something in your life, you need only to be still and wait on His promise. You will be fruitful. You will be able to bring God to the center of your life in this coming year and will be able to keep Him there forever. God has only begun his work and He doesn’t expect you to get it done right away. Also, do not be fearful of the thought of abandonment. God is not asking you to get rid of everything you know back home. He simply wants to be at the center of your life and for that to happen, He needed to take you away from distractions for a little bit. Abide in the Lord, do not fear. He has you in the palm of His hands. You need only to draw near to Him and to be willing to give up things and trust Him. Right now, I am so scared of giving up my family back home and that is hindering me from really stepping into my relationship with Christ. I love my people too much and I don’t ever want to part from them. I need to know that God knows the desires of my heart and doesn’t want to hurt me. He ONLY wants me wholeheartedly. Lord, help me to come to you and work on making you the center of my life this year. Lord, help me to abandon things that I put before you and restore my life. Lord, bring reconciliation through my relationship with you. I love you and I am working on making you number 1. Thank you for grace and a process that doesn’t have a time limit. Thank you, Lord.