I’ll admit it: I am not a patient person. I’m just not. Anticipation kills me. And as hard as I try to be someone who possess that quality, I really have to work at it. Even as I type this post, I have to keep reminding myself to stay on task. I keep waiting for words to pop into my head, and when they don’t flow like I want them to I get frustrated. Complete 180°. I realized that it might be because I’m trying to communicate what I want to say, instead of letting God’s voice speak through me. For weeks now, I’ve been trying to type about comfort; although, now I realize that God was saying “Shame”. So here it goes…
I believe that shame and pride go hand and hand. Oddly enough, they have two very different definitions. Shame is a feeling of regret and humiliation upon recognizing our own wrong doings. Pride; however, is the consciousness of our own dignity. A deep satisfaction for ourselves. They are different. But together the two words produce a cloud that alludes to a false identity. A mask we create to shield others from knowing our “secrets”. This creates hollow victories; or in another sense, an accomplishment (seemingly) that really only takes a destructive toll on the victor. Pride keeps us from relinquishing our shame. But to what advancement? There is no victory in hiding sin. This simple truth was the biggest lesson that I took away from training camp, and I will carry it with me until the day I die.
I am not a perfect person; I don’t even come close. But He is perfect! And what makes it beautiful is that he didn’t create me to be perfect. He created me in His image, and He views that as perfection. My God made me so that I could have a relationship with Him; and in that, learning to be more like Him each day. By releasing the shame I held in sin, I became free. Truthfully, Christ bore our shame at the cross so that we may share His Glory.
“He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross so that we might die to sin and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.” – 1 Peter 2:24Jesus died a humanly death so that I could live with Him eternally; blameless from sin. How then, could I be so selfish as to try and hide my sin from Him? There is no where I can go that He won’t find me. He already knows, and He longs for my repentance. Pride; it’s our defense in shielding our sin. But when I push my smug complacency aside and humble myself towards Him He takes my shame. Once, I held so much regret, but He took me in with open arms and said “You are good”. I no longer look back on my past mistakes with humiliation because I know that the Lord used them to build my relationship with Him. I do not want to glorify my sin, but I will be accessible in sharing my testimony. No guilt in life, no fear in death.
In Christ,
Gabby
