This blog is going to be a little different, actually a lot different. I am going to write a letter to the devil, speak truth to his schemes and lies, and bring light to some dark times within my life. It is going to be very vulnerable, but this topic isn’t talked about as much as it should be. There are people walking in shame that don’t need to be because God can free them from it all!! With all of that being said, there is some information contained that may be sensitive; please use discernment and wisdom when sharing. The intention of this blog is to bring to light a common sin and a devastating shame within today’s Christian society. The goal of this blog is ONLY to glorify Jesus and how He has redeemed me. Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions or concerns.
So here it goes:
Dear Satan,
You have NO power over me any longer. You can no longer whisper lies of unworthiness in my ear. You cannot make me feel alone. You cannot tempt me. You have no power. For years you have pushed and poked and lied and made me feel alone and shameful. You pushed me to masturbation. You tempted me to choose my flesh. You made it feel so good. You told me it was no big deal. You told me it was okay. You had me convinced that there was no wrong in what I was doing. That’s a lie… God created pleasure for marriage and no other place.
(18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
It is wrong. It started at a young age and your attacks never ceased. You are a liar. You put your hooks in me and pulled me to the depths of shame and sin. You continued to do this until I was hooked. You kept pushing and pushing me; you wouldn’t relent until you had me. You made me think I was unworthy, dirty, ugly, and bad. But the biggest thing you did was lie and make me believe that I was ALONE. Well, guess what?? I AM NOT ALONE. I am a daughter of the King of the Universe. My King says,(“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.[c] And so he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” Romans 8:1-4)
He calls me very good!
(God saw all He had made, and it was very good. Genesis 1:31)
See even in the garden you tried to convince Eve that she needed something she already had. You convinced Eve that if she ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil that she would become like God. (You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”) Genesis 3:4-5)
When in reality she was already like God.
( So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27)
God made us in His image. We are like God. You convinced me of this too. You convinced me that I would be satisfied if I chose my flesh; you were wrong. God is the only one who can satisfy me. I was searching for worth and security and had it all along
(Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.” 2 Timothy 2:19)
So Devil, you best get to running because I’m out for revenge. I won’t stop sharing the light that I discovered until everyone with my same story walks in freedom as I do. I won’t stop sharing Jesus and His goodness just because you are a liar. Jesus has won the victory; you literally have already lost…stop trying! I declare right now that you no longer have power over me or any other daughter or son of the King. You aren’t allowed to speak lies to us, you aren’t allowed to whisper temptation into our ears, so go away! Go back to where you belong! I declare freedom over the shame and sin I have carried for so long. I declare freedom over everyone still walking in the sin and shame. I thank God for granting me that freedom. I thank God for His grace. I thank God that He loved me even when I felt dirty and ashamed. I thank God that He relentlessly pursued me through every bad moment. God never left my side.There’s no wall He won’t kick don’t, lie He won’t tear down running after me. Devil, you have no say!
Sincerely,
Powerful, Strong, Courageous, Worthy Daughter of the King
So, yes, I have dealt with masturbation for the past eight years. When it began I had no idea that it was wrong. But as it continued I learned the truth. As I learned the truth about this sin, I also learned the truth about who God calls me to be. However, the devil’s grasp was so strong on me that I couldn’t overcome it. It wasn’t until training camp for The World Race that I truly experienced freedom from it. One night we talked about shame. We were asked, “What is our shame? And what lie are you believing about that shame?” As I pondered these questions, Jesus led me to the shame of masturbation and led me to see that I was believing the lie that I was unworthy to be loved. I had never seen it this way. I had seen this sin as dirty and disgusting and in turn began to see myself that way. I felt so dirty that I couldn’t even talk to God about it. But after this sermon I saw God’s hand reaching out and inviting me in. He invited me into vulnerability. He asked me to share my secret. So, I did. I shared it with two girls on my squad and was met with only love and support. God granted me courage and freedom in that moment more than I could have ever imagined. I then shared it with two other girls the next day. As God and I walked through the process of freedom and redemption, yes it’s a process, God asked me to continue to share. I shared it with my team, and then at debrief in Nepal, God asked me to share it with my squad. I believe that God wants to bring light to this awful sin because of the horrible amount of shame that it carries with it. Masturbation is wrong and it is dirty. God is not dirty. God is clean and full of redemption. God is love. God loves recklessly. “God’s majesty can coexist with our messes.”- Erika (The Best WR Mentor ever) God is there even in the bad moments.
So, if you have dealt with this sin, I want to speak truth to you.
You are NOT ALONE.
You are worthy of love.
You are clean and washed white as snow.
Jesus loves you!
Jesus never stopped loving you.
Jesus wants every part of you, even the dirty shameful parts.
You don’t have to carry the shame of masturbation.
You can be free.
There is no condemnation.
You are known.
You are seen.
You are made New.
Thank you so much for reading this blog. I know it’s a heavy one, but I think that the light needs to be brought to this topic. I want more people to walk in the freedom Jesus died on the cross for. If you have any questions or want to talk further about how to gain the freedom, please message me!
Thank you for your continued prayers and support. I love y’all!
Love,
Gabbie
