I’ve been holed up in bed for about three days now with the nastiest cough. I know, I know, I need to get to a clinic…I just don’t want to. But, it’s pretty much forced me to finally take the time to write an overdue blog post! My team has been so sweet. The girls have made me special teas, bought me sweets, given me supernatural essential oils, listened to me whine and cough violently throughout the day…and night.
I’m so tired of being this sick and in this much pain but, even yet, I’m living a dream. And there’s no place I’d rather be. We’re in China now and have been for about 2 weeks and we hit every wall imaginable before we a actually hit the “Great Wall.” But I’ll get to that in my next blog post.
Month 1 came and went…and it was full of one thing— weight. For all of month 1, my team experienced things that I hadn’t even had to walk through until much later on in my race.
Already, the team had to experience sleeping on the floor or sleeping pads (floor for me), share a room with 6 other strangers, pack all their stuff up every single Sunday morning because we were sleeping in the Sunday school, have no running water on the premises (we had to fill up jugs from a community water concession stand), use a squatty potty as their normal toilet, walk a mile to pay for a public shower, and figure out how to eat without an actual kitchen available and only one pot…
And those are really just some of the things that piled up and were hard to deal with but we really did struggle…
I’m not going to sugar-coat it, my team was not united. And we dealt with the spiritual consequences of it on the daily— talking about spiritual warfare. And I FELT the weight of it…we all did.
We were so worn. I was so exhausted. And I was beginning to wonder what it was I had exactly gotten myself into.
But, here’s the deal— I prayed for the things this team was walking in. Before I even knew their names or had met their lovely faces, I wanted this— I wanted spiritual enforcement and alignment, I wanted hunger for the Truth in Scripture (which often means being challenged in what you thought you believed), I wanted my team to walk in true freedom and not rebellious freedom, I wanted people to speak up and call each other out, I prayed for full-dependency on God…
So, I couldn’t help but have hope. I couldn’t help but hold a small little smirk on my face while going through some of these battles because I knew what God was doing— He was making good on His promises. I knew those prayers I had so boldly declared were a result of His desires placed in me.
The desires I had for this team, the weight of them, were from Him. And I got to see that come to fruition. What an honor. What a weight.
See, I was taught that the true mark of leadership is seen when one is ready to pass the baton. I never ran track so I hope I’m setting this up right but, basically, these girls are the anchor to our relay race… I hope and desire for them to run their Race better than mine. That weight that I carry now, is simply the baton that is being passed down. Because, leadership truly does trickle down.
We have this little joke within our leadership team that our teams look like us, the alumni leaders. Some walk in joy because their leader walks in joy. Some walk in depth because their leader walks in depth, etc.
But, I’m not going to lie to you, I’m exhausted. And I think my body knows it because no one else on my team is sick and we really aren’t in an environment where I should be hacking up a lung…but here I lay.
And I’m living with these mighty warrior women and I want you to share some glimpses into their hearts:
Marianna: Beauty and grace. This sweet soul walks in courage and boldness. She doesn’t shy from calling us out on things we have asked to be accountable for. Just a few weeks ago, she encouraged one of us to “Discern when something bad is happening around us vs to us.”
Laura: This girl! She has already led us in a study of Spiritual Warfare and covered us with truth in Scripture! As we hit all sorts of walls upon arriving in China, she made this bold statement, “I feel like maybe this month isn’t so much about ministry but about God’s faithfulness.”
Kenz: She shared something God had been speaking to her, “Stop hoping to run your race, and run mine.” BOOM! Kenz has been hearing God speak some HARD truths to her and as she walks in those, she encourages us to, as well.
Ellie: “I didn’t come all this way just to say no.” This shows Ellie’s willingness to say “yes” to God and walk in obedience in the little things and the bigger things. Ellie is also our team’s mama bear. She takes such good care of us!
Lacy: “Until you understand God more, you misidentify who you really are.” I mean, WHOA!
Michaela: This sweet girl has passed on a lot of wisdom that comes from her sweet father and mother. These are a few nuggets from her sweet mama, “God, I pray not to the God I know you are; but, to the God You know you are.”
From Top Left to Bottom Right: Marianna, Laura, Kenz, Ellie, Lacy, and Michaela <3
