I used to use the phrase “words are hard” after I got too excited and all the words jumbled together when I tried to speak. Or if someone was trying to say something, but couldn’t quite spit it out. “Words are hard, huh?”
But words really are hard sometimes.
Sometimes it’s hard to communicate how you feel, or truly express it in words to others so that they will understand.
Sometimes I think too much about how my words will come across, and other times I don’t think about it at all and my words hurt people.
Sometimes I just use “it’s hard” as an excuse to not do something. If I can, I avoid hard things or delay them until I have to do them. I would do my easy homework first and then do the hard stuff when I had no other choice.
Blogging is hard.
Sometimes I don’t know what to write about, or if I’m being honest I just don’t feel like blogging. I would rather watch TV or read a book instead. Those are things that I am comfortable with. My excuses pile up: “People only want to hear about the actual trip, not the preparation, that’s not exciting and they are tired of you asking for money”.
It is uncomfortable to blog. It is uncomfortable to ask for money.
But this trip isn’t about my comfort; it’s about following after God-loving Him, loving those I come in contact with. It is going to get a lot more uncomfortable.
My squad is awesome and has started posting topics for us all to blog about, to get us all in the habit of blogging and getting rid of my excuse of not knowing what to blog about. I have been at war with myself about this too.
But again all I have is excuses.
The person I want to be is brave, courageous, and doesn’t quit when things are hard.
I want to be genuine and honest, but still speak truth in love.
I want to conquer my fears and shortcomings, to look back and be proud of the person I have become.
In order to become that woman, I have to stop making excuses and move to action, especially when I’m uncomfortable.
When things are difficult it is an opportunity for growth. Excuses stunt growth.
We all love underdog stories because they overcome an even greater obstacle due to their status. No one would want to watch a movie where everything is easy and there is no conflict, because that is boring. Neither would we watch a movie where someone came up with a million excuses and gave up every time things got difficult. We need hard things. We need challenges, otherwise we would never grow. We have to get out of our comfort zones in order to grow and become the people we were created to be.
I knew that this experience would be a growing experience, but I have been surprised at what I am being stretched and growing from.
Blogging is stretching. Moving back home with my family has been stretching and uncomfortable at times. Moving to the Northeast and driving in snow storms has forced me to be brave. Being patient with slow fundraising has been challenging, but in all these things I can see growth and progress, even when it is slow.
I know that pushing past the uncomfortable now is going to help me when it gets even more uncomfortable out there.
“But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring back the Israelites out of Egypt?” And God said, “I will be with you.” ~Exodus 3: 11-12a
