Whether you are 12 or 72, whether you’ve known Jesus your whole life or you met him two days ago, as a Christian, you will always be pushed to grow. God has a beautiful life laid out for you, and God created you with specific characteristics that were uniquely combined to create you. The concept of being finished is saved only for death and joining Christ in Heaven. This is the mindset we must keep as we continue to daily walk out or faith, or you give space for the devil to come and trick you with the lie of complacency.
With this idea in mind, I came on the world race. I know that the journey God and I had been on was not easy and there was so much growth, restoration, and change that happened. I also know that I am nowhere near finished, and there are things that God wants to refine and teach me. So I came on the world race knowing this, but not knowing exactly what those lessons would be.
But even though I didn’t know, God can work through others to let you know. Through conversations and alone time with God, a beautiful lesson and a heart shift happened in Swaziland, and I am so grateful it did.
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds – Hebrews 10:24
We have been having conversations lately about our secret place. That’s the place that God meets you. You close your eyes and go to this place and it’s reserved for you and God. For some they picture a beach, for others the picture a garden. I’ve never had one of these places, so during a quiet time (time set aside for Jesus), I asked God to show me my secret place.
What I saw was me sitting on the top of a building at night overlooking a city with a bridge on the side of me. I was sitting with Jesus on the building. The thing about this, though, was that I saw me sitting next to Jesus; I wasn’t actually a part of the vision. I was like an onlooker of it.
I was talking to my teammate about this and wondering if that really was my secret place. She stopped and thought and then said what she felt God was telling her to say. She said that there was a ditch between me and God. I can see him and he can throw gifts to me and give me words, but because of the ditch, we can’t actually be together.
After this, I went to God with it. I was honest and asked him if I had dug a ditch between us. He said no, but there is a ditch between us. There is a place He needs me to cross and I’m hesitating because I don’t trust the person He’s made me and I’m not letting Him love me.
My response was, “Get me there.”
In church that week, during praise and worship, I felt God with me. He was trying to hold me (the way a guy will put his arms around your shoulders from the back), but there was a small, invisible bubble around me. He couldn’t do it. And I didn’t know how to break that. So I prayed. I don’t want anything between God and me. I don’t want any space from perfect love.
Then we had house worship (we have 3 teams in the house together) the next night. And that’s when the bubble broke. I don’t know what was different, but I let God love me. He cupped my face and He put his arms around me the way He tried in church but couldn’t. He held my hand.
He showed me that my secret place isn’t a place at all. It’s in His presence. He pulled me through a forest, a field, the beach, a mountain and the only common factor was him. He is what the purpose of a secret place is and he gives me himself in every place.
Through these conversations and events, I realized that my perspective of God’s love had shifted. I have revered His love for me. The fact that the Creator of the Universe loves me is a BIG deal. And he loves me without reserve. And I realize that is a huge thing. That is a great love, and I want to honor that love. I wanted to be His daughter that doesn’t waste that love. I wanted to become better so that I don’t disgrace that love.
And that mindset wasn’t bad at all. It needed a shift though. And that’s what God did for me.
I do not become better for God’s love, I become better because of God’s love. His love is transforming me, and me accepting that is what truly honors God’s love for me.
Who I am now and who I was 6 years ago is completely different and the transformation happened because I let God’s love into my life. Because of this shift, there is no ditch between God and myself. Because of this shift, God gets to love me the way He’s always wanted to. And because of this shift, I can sit with God on a mountaintop or walk with Him in a field instead of watching Him walk without me.
