“Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years, and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment. For she said, “If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well.” Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction. And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My clothes?” But His disciples said to Him, “You see the multitude thronging You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’” And He looked around to see her who had done this thing. But the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.” – Matthew 5:25-35
Most people who meet me, think I grew up a certain way. They assume that I am from the Middle American way of life and didn’t have any hard times. They think I grew up sheltered because of my character and thing way I live my life. My life emits light and joy and wisdom and hopefully, Jesus. So people naturally think that the sin and brokenness of the world didn’t touch my childhood. And they are dead wrong.
I grew up a hard life. I grew up too fast, having to make decisions and learn about things before I should of. I didn’t always have food and my house was rarely happy. I lived on the street that children shouldn’t live on. Things have happened to me that shouldn’t happen to anyone.
But unless I’ve told you my story or let you into the closest part of my life, you wouldn’t know. Why? Simple. Jesus.
I was this woman. I tried everything to fix my life. I tried being perfect. I tried controlling everything. I tried fitting in. I tried to stand out as confident and bubbly and put together. And I got nowhere. I cried most nights and didn’t believe I was worth anything. My brokenness and pain wouldn’t go away, even though I was thriving by society’s standards. So I reached for Jesus. And he healed me.
The interesting part of the text is that Jesus told the woman “by your faith, you are healed,” but he didn’t stop there. Next He said “go in peace and walk out your healing.” Ummm, what??
God heals instantly. When God decides what is to happen, it is complete. But in our timing, it doesn’t always appear that way. The woman was healed because Jesus said she was and His power made it so. But the woman had a job to do as well. She needed to believe it. She needed to live her life as healed. She needed to life herself from the ground and the life of pity she had grown accustomed to and be healed.
So many people meet Jesus and ask Him to be His savior and heal their lives. And He does. But not everyone walks it out. Not everyone believes it because they don’t see it right away. It’s hard to live a life like Jesus. It’s hard and it doesn’t make sense and it doesn’t look like what society says it should look like. So instead of walking in peace and healing, they give up.
But when you are desperate, and you have tried everything to no avail, when every solution you have thought up fails, you can’t give up. You have to believe and you have to trust without seeing and you have to give your life to Jesus and let the reconstruction began.
I didn’t have a good childhood. But at 20, I had done all I could do on my own and finally gave Jesus my mess. And He fixed it. Slowly. For 3 years, I was in deep remodeling, learning to walk out my healing and reshaping my life by God’s hands. It was hard and it was raw and painful, and it made no sense. But here I am. On the other side. There are still places of refinement and things that He and I need to fine tune, but when you look at my past and when you look at my present, you see two completely different people. And it’s because I reached out in faith, trusting Jesus to heal my life. Do you?
