We were never supposed to come to Thailand. And then, we were only supposed to be here for Debrief. But God had other plans, and we got to spend some time doing ministry here. At the beginning of the month, we had team changes, where the groups of people we do ministry with switch. We spent 10 days getting to know our new teams, doing ministry, and then headed to Debrief. It’s been a packed month, but I’ve been intentional in connecting with God and asking Him to come into my life in big ways.
I Have Found My Home
The team I spent my first 5 months with, the DOGs, were like family. You know, the cousins you hang out with at BBQs and family gatherings. They are fun and have your back. They will tease you but love you. That’s what my last team was. But this team, this team is my home. It’s like coming home from a long day and just taking a breath of peace in a safe place. It’s been less than 2 weeks, and I feel comfort and safety and the acceptance that who I am is good enough.
God is Tired of My Apologizing for His Creation
When I accepted God as my savior at 13, I became the “Jesus girl.” I was teased so I quieted down. This has happened periodically throughout my life. I love Jesus. I am passionate about Him. I take His word seriously and don’t try to make it work to fit my comforts. And over and over again I am pushed away, considered weird or odd or not cool enough. Even in Christian environments.
But I’m done apologizing for it. I’m done trying to calm my love and passion for Christ because it makes people uncomfortable. I don’t look like the world, and I’m not trying to be an undercover Christian. God doesn’t want that for me. He keeps reminding me that I am exactly how He wants me. He keeps pushing me forward into His purpose. And He keeps showing me that I am different, and He loves me in that.
I Don’t Have to See Any Results
When we were in Chiang Mai, we were by a street food market. I walked past this one younger woman who had a smoothie stand. Something inside of me wanted to build a relationship with her. At first, she wouldn’t talk to me. But I went back every day. And as she saw that I actually saw her and wasn’t like a normal tourist, she warmed up to me.
Now, I have no clue why it was important for me to do this. I didn’t talk to her about Jesus or anything like that, but I know that the “something inside of me” was the Holy Spirit and that God wanted me to see this woman.
I don’t need to know the end result in order to listen to God’s instructions. The change, the impact, the transformation, the love all comes from God, and He just needs me to play my part. There is peace when you listen to God, even if you don’t know what the end result will be.
I Will Be Different
We are finishing up our Ask the Lord ministry and going back to having hosts, and this past season has really transformed the way I want to operate when I go home. God got to have complete reign over my days. We put into practice the verse “we plan our steps, but God directs our path.”
I am interruptible. I see God’s people and look for those special moment that God sprinkles throughout my day. I know talking to strangers is completely fine. Ministry isn’t a scheduled volunteer time. It’s noticing the barista and asking God to be present in the moment you speak to her, it’s smiling at someone you make eye contact with, or talking to someone who asks you for directions. These past months have prepared me to live this life back home.
Elephants are AMAZING
I really wanted to see elephants, but I couldn’t go to a place that mistreated them by letting people ride on them. So I found this place in Chiang Mai that treated elephants ethically. And my team supported me! They supported my desire to care for the elephants, and our day at the Elephant Jungle Sanctuary was amazing! My heart was so full. I loved seeing these beautiful, powerful animals being their normal selves. The little one was playful and adorable. The pregnant mom-to-be was very hungry. The teen one was feisty. It was an amazing day, and I will never forget it.
We are heading to Myanmar to work with a host. It’s going to be an adjustment since these past few months have been unscheduled, but I know that God is going to be doing some really wonderful things in a country that has had a lot of instability. I also have a sprained ankle so my contribution this month is going to look different.
