In my last blog If this is brokenness, imagine Heaven I talked about my longing to actually be with Jesus – a longing to be with my best friend in a perfect world forever.
In this blog I want to share a little more of my heart with you.
The day I posted it I sat outside with Jesus looking at the mountains when I heard Him say “I put these mountains here just for you”
“What?”
“I knew that someday Farrah would find herself in Mokhotlong, Lesotho and I wanted to make her smile”.
My heart melted.
He did all of this just to make me smile?
He really is the best friend.
I can’t explain the longing in me to finally be with Him. I find myself sitting in my hammock with tears streaming down my face, imagining Him there physically beside me.
It’s weird, I think I’ve been homesick maybe once in my life when I was a kid. But over the past year or so it’s been a constant wanting to be with Him. I’ve realized that I’m just homesick for Heaven. Just like a child misses their parents when they’re apart, so I miss my Papa in Heaven.
In fact, the other day I made a playlist on my phone. I titled it Home.
It has just four songs on it, each of them are the cry of my heart:
Deathbed – Relient K
Be With Me – Bryan & Katie Torwalt
Home to Me – Bread & Wine & Ben Smith
Day Is Dimming – Brooke Fraser
Take a listen and you might understand my heart a little more deeply.
This morning I opened up to 2 Corinthians 5 and cried as I read the thoughts of my heart written down in the Bible:
2 Corinthians 5:1-8 NLT
For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in Heaven, an eternal body made for us by God Himself and not by human hands. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies. While we live in these earthy bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up be life. God Himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee He has given us His Holy Spirit.
So we are confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. For we live by believing and not by seeing. Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord.
The cry of my heart is to be at home with my best friend, my Papa, my sweet Jesus.
It’s a strange feeling though, longing for something you’ve never fully experienced. But I think C.S. Lewis exactly describes what I feel when He says this:
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.
When I accepted Christ my definition of Home changed. It’s no longer here on earth, but it’s literally in Heaven with my best friend. Ephesians 2:6 even say she “For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus.”
I want to say again that I love life. What a gift it is to experience it. What a gift it is to get glimpses of perfect love through my friends and family. What a gift to see the beauty of this earth and the cosmos around me.
I just can’t wait for the more.
I’m homesick for Heaven, and it’s a longing so deep, so intimate, so real and beautiful that I want you to feel it too. For what a sweet and awe-filled moment it will be when I can finally run to my Saviour, tears of joy streaming down my face, and be held by Him.
