Being obedient is a lot easier said than done. We are commanded to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” Matthew 28:19-20
However moving that commandment to life is not always so simple. Sometimes you go to make disciples and there are rules and restrictions.
Sometimes you have this idea built up in your head of seeing lives be changed drastically.
Most of the time your expectations are not met.
In this time you are given two choices: bitter or better.
For a while lately the enemy had really been attacking my heart, my passions, and desires. I became bitter and quite annoying to be around.
I was broken and hurt and my expectations, that I didn’t think I had, were being crushed.
The ministry is not always what you think it should be, or the people are not as friendly as you wish them to be, and the whole living in community is not so rosy and fun.
However bitterness ravished my heart and I became very grumpy. I am trying to take these grumpy pants off but its a struggle.
Right now I am in Malaysia in a small town that has multiple ethnic groups and belief systems.
Throughout the day prayers and singing is blasted on loud speakers. Islamic prayer times are around 6:50 am, 12:52 pm, 4:10 pm, 6:52 pm, and 7:58 pm. And yes, it is a fun wake up call.
Its honestly heart breaking. It is illegal to share the gospel with people here. If you do you can get arrested.
However there are other people groups that are more accepting and are willing to hear the gospel. This city is surrounded by Chinese and Indian people groups working there way into sharing the gospel.
It is a very tedious process and very sad. Many days I feel like I am doing nothing for the kingdom.
I have began to find my senile attitude ridiculous. My lack of trust in the Lord has led me astray and frankly I am tired of it.
I was brought to Malaysia for a reason and I will not let the enemy steal that joy.
I will no longer allow my desires to be a stumbling block but I am fully submitting to the Lord and allow him to work through me.
As I finish out this month I will be totally devoted in prayer and thanksgiving. I am just starting the process of fully trusting in him.
I find this to be amazing timing by the Lord.
In a about 2 weeks I will be heading to a totally closed country. I will not be able to to speak or write anything to do with the Lord.
My facebook will be turned off and my emails will be screened for any words of Lord, Christ, Jesus, Christian, and so forth. My connection to people back home will be slim and I wont be able to post much in my blogs.
I will be in one of the darkest places, yet I will be shining his light as bright as I can.
In this month my team will also take on a new challenge. We will being doing an ATL month, which means As The Lord. We will not be given a contact but will go out in faith to find unsung heros. We will be secretly looking for those who are spreading the kingdom.
Although my words might not be expressed I am ready for my heart to speak to others by my actions. Im ready to be the hands and feet without a voice needed.
I ask for prayer for Malaysia and the next country I go too.
I ask that you support me in any way you feel led.
I also ask that you be obedient in what the Lord is calling you to do.
peace, love, and grace to you all.
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