If you haven't noticed blogging isn't my specialty. Expressing my feelings in words is not always so easy. Since training camp God has really been working on my heart. I needed a big backhand and he keeps on giving them to me. My whole way of thinking is finally changing and I am learning the truths of his love for me. Often times I sit and sulk in my past mistakes hating myself and not learning to forgive. I am a control seeking self-centered brat. I am broken; weak; ignorant about many things; lack patience; quickly angered; judgmental; evil thoughts; not grateful; make childish mistakes; focus too much on the worldly image; hateful and rude; prideful and selfish; I am sinful and need some serious grace. You see I could sit her in list off all my flaws for days but God finally woke up my soul. He has been renewing my heart over and over again. After a few backhands I am starting to see this crazy love.
It is no longer about me but about HIM.
I am created in HIS image
I am HIS beloved
I am HIS beautiful creation
I am blessed by HIM
I am redeemed, revived, and renewed by HIS grace
I am HIS chosen one
I am blessed with HIS strength
I am forgiven by HIS great name
I am restored by HIS unfailing love for me
I am less and he is so much more.
You see this whole race has nothing to do with me…he doesn't need me. I am going to mess up and I am going to miss my chances on talking with people sometimes. I am going to feel like a failure and inadequate. I am going to need lots of prayer, love, and support. I can't do this on my own and frankly I don't want to. The great thing is we have a redeemer who is mighty and he can work through me in ways I can't imagine.
I ask you to pray as God uses me at home these last few weeks, that I use every opportunity to speak of his great name. I will ask you to pray for me as I am on the race. I will also ask you to pray for me after the race. Most importantly I ask you to pray for yourself, that you will devote this year to living a missional life in your everyday actions. I pray that God will use me to make disciples in other nations as you make disciples in America or Canada or where ever you are. God is good, sit in his presence and enjoy him. He loves you…I mean he really really really really loves YOU! Don't miss out
P.S. being backhanded by God is pretty awesome actually
love you all
