Let me just start off by saying that these past weeks have been hectic.
My faith has never been so stretched in such a way before
The enemy has also been attacking me constantly with his lies about who I am. Insecurities kept creeping in.
This past Thursday while I was driving, I had a convo with the Lord & opened up my heart to Him & asked Him to help my unbelief.
I was in such deep thought & constantly kept thinking back on when I was on fire for God & I realized how far I’ve come, ever since.
Except. My faith felt weak.
Very weak & I was like. “What the heck Lord?”
I arrived home, walked into my room & headed to my closet for some reason…I then looked up & saw some purses I hadn’t used for awhile.
I decided to look inside of each purse & see if there was any change or dollars in them. (By the way they’re up high on a shelf & I’m a shorty, I do like to call it fun-size though) Anyways! FOCUS FAITH!
So I get a ladder & up I go. I looked through the purses…as I got to the last purse, I open it up & found an envelope..that said “A LIE”
I soon remembered. *Long story short*
I grew up in a dysfunctional family & I never had the best relationship with my parents. One day my mom drastically left us & my bitter towards her grew even deeper. I was deeply hurt because of the many lies I had been told to my face.
Let me just say that today, she is honestly my Best Friend. What God has done in our relationship is truly a miracle that I had never believed would come to pass. It has been restored! It has been one of the best gifts God has given me. His healing and transformations are just beautiful! BUT! that’s a story for some other time!
Anyways! So when she left to be with someone else. I can truly say that I hated her. My depression became deeper & I was ANGRY.
My mom constantly would try to contact me & I would ignore all of it. I couldn’t understand why all of a sudden she wanted to give me attention after many years of not seeming to care.
I didn’t want to hear about her, see her, not even for her to touch me. She knew that I didn’t want to see her so she would constantly stop by at my high school & would give the office ladies random gifts for them to give to me.
When they would give me the gifts, I honestly did not want to receive it or even look at it. Woo! I’m about to be transparent right now!
I was surrounded by many at that time who made me believe that she was just trying to trick me by giving me all those gifts just so that she could use me. So that didn’t help. My bitterness grew even more.
So one day on Valentines Day I received this card (The one I found in the purse) I remember reading it & not being able to read the whole thing because I did not believe any of it about myself. So to me, It was all a lie.
Then I guess I just hid it in this purse & never opened it again.
So much has happened that it’s hard to write all at once but,
once again *Long story short*
My mom didn’t quit & kept on pouring love. I ended up moving in with her & that’s where our restoration began.
So here I am on top of a ladder, afraid to open the envelope. But as soon as I was about to put the purse away. I sensed the Holy Spirit say immediately “Read it!”
So I removed the card from the envelope & began to read it.
” Daughter, On special days like Valentine’s Day, & on ordinary days, too, please know that I see you…”
” I see the path you’ve made that’s all your own.
I see the many unique talents & gifts you have to share.
I see your brilliance, your enthusiasm, & how deeply you care
&, sometimes, hurt.
I see your hard-earned wisdom, your soft pure innocense,
your courage & compassion, your unconditional goodness.
I see what a difference you make in this world…
…& I hope you know how very much I love you, & how proud I’ll always be to have a daughter as wonderful as you.
Happy Valentines Day with Love
from your mom…OH. BUT then it continues *I was already balling my eyes out & it wasn’t even over.*
(I am now known as Faith & was called Karry before my rebirth)
“Karry, I love you not just because you’re my daughter
but because you’re a very special person.
I don’t think you even realize how much you have going for you,
& what a unique individual you are.
I have such confidence in you, & I have Faith
that you’ll be able to achieve anything you want & be a
success at whatever you try…
& that’s why I hope that you never stop dreaming on Valentine’s Day
or at any other time of the year because you deserve the best of
everything.
With love from your mommy.”
I cried so much…but they were tears of joy!
What a God we serve! Who knew that 2 years later I would read this letter on the very right time.
I ran to the kitchen & grabbed a sharpie & wrote down “THE TRUTH” over A LIE.
At the time I received this letter I had no clue in who I was, I didn’t see myself in any of those words. The amazing part is that my mom & I never really knew each other like we do now & she wrote down all those words that were meant for me to read today.
Once she arrived home, I told her what had happened & together we cried like babies..haha
She shared that she had prayed to God & asked Him to guide her to the right card before she even chose it & then before she had written this letter, she also had asked God to give her the right words because she was in such deep pain & had no clue on what to write, as soon as she began to write she knew that the words were coming directly from the Holy Spirit.
She read the card again & was shocked on how much it described me to the point, on who I am today. When she read the part that said “and I have faith..” She laughs & says “The Lord knew you would be called Faith!” bahaha..she cracks me up.
See that’s what the devil wanted me to believe “A LIE” But God knew how this would all end. IN LOVE, IN TRUTH, IN PEACE, IN HOPE, IN JOY!!
He reminded me who I am.
He reminded me of His goodness.
He gave my mother those words & she obeyed even when she couldn’t see the purpose of it.
She knew how many wrongs she had done but she didn’t quit.. she held on to her faith trusting that God would turn it all out for good. MAN! I LOVE HER! God has done such a beautiful transformation in her heart that it just fills me up with tears whenever I think about it.
Know that God is always in control, No matter the situation.
“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand & says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13)
He is always there to help & His timing is best.
Believe.
Even when you have lost all hope..He is faithful & He Always hears your prayers.
Dont quit now. See how far you’ve come.
YOU ARE HIS DAUGHTER
YOU ARE HIS SON
& He is yours
How Beautiful is that!
HE LOVES YOU & YOU’RE WORTH IT.
THANK YOU LORD!!
Love & Peace to all,
Faith Lynn <3
