Yesterday was absolutely precious to me, and I will cherish it deeply in my heart.
I absolutely love how God is such a God of unique creativity. Working in such a close community has revealed to me that each individual person can have an absolutely different passion for and from God.
I know He has created each one of our hearts to burn passionately about something unique. I can see it. I have seen some of my teammates come alive this month working in the bars – and I’ve seen myself go through the motions this month because my heart isn’t burning for this.
My heart is to serve God – so of course there is some passion ignited with walking that out. Of course I will pursue every ministry and give it my all. I was called to the World Race, I will steward this gift well. But, it just isn’t the same.
When you are doing what you know God has created you for, that is when you feel passion ignited. Believe me, once you find that – there is no greater feeling! Once you feel your God given calling that He has placed on your life, you never want to do anything else.
Yesterday, I got that chance to feel my desires, see my calling, and to feel myself come that alive again. Which hasn’t truly happened to me since month three.
These past months in the Race I’ve continue to be obedient. I’ve been continuing to open my eyes to what God is teaching me. I’ve been doing what I’ve been told, when I’ve been told to do it. But, it still felt like I was a square peg getting shoved into a round hole. Nothing felt quite “right”, even if I absolutely loved the ministry – I could feel that it just wasn’t my calling.
I’ve continued to have revelations, and God has still been teaching me daily. But, my heart is still back in month three of the Race. I still find myself praying for the people, praying for the ministry, praying for the children, interceding for the country, etc.
I can be present. I can give each new ministry my all – but my passion is still there, my heart is there, and God knows the day I get to step foot in that country again will be one of the happiest days of my life.
Anyways, back to THIS month, to yesterday.
A couple of my squad mates and I visited The Agape Home yesterday afternoon – and I was instantly in love. This is a program for not only orphans, but HIV/AIDS orphans. The unwanted of unwanted children.
We got blessed with Avis – the woman who started this home – sharing her vision with us. She almost brought me to tears as she talked about her passion, and her desire to love these children.
I could relate. I could see myself in her shoes. I wanted to be just like her, I wanted to accomplish what she has already accomplished.
As she spoke my heart was not only broken, but it was restored.
This is it. This is what I want.
This is what I was created for.
After she finished talking, my heart was burning. I could have listened to her all day long. I wanted to glean every ounce of wisdom I could from this incredible woman of God. I could see her faith as she spoke. I could feel her love, not only for these children but for God.
After she finished sharing her vision with us, she told us we were free to go love on the children. I of course found out where the nursery was and headed that way. My heart beats so much for helpless little newborns, and little babies. They are so innocent and pure.
I walked through the doors of the nursery. Angela, one of the volunteers that we have had the pleasure of befriending this month, was holding a 4month old baby in her arms.
I be-lined it towards her. I greeted her, as she set the 4month old baby boy down on a blanket under a toy, and went to attend to a newborn in a crib. I continued to talk with her and follow her. She picked up this baby girl, and handed her to me. Even now I am almost in tears recalling this event.
Who would not want to love this incredible child?
Why are there so many unwanted babies and children in the world?
How could someone give them up?
How are these beautiful babies not yet adopted?
These questions came flooding down on me as I looked around the room. Then, I looked into this baby girls eyes and they all stopped. I looked into the eyes of this precious 4week old baby and my heart broke. Seconds after staring into her eyes, I already loved her. I didn’t care if she had HIV/AIDS, she was perfect to me.
Holding this child, hearing Avis speak, visiting an orphanage that was actually ran well, it all confirmed so much inside of me.
I was made to help orphans. I was created specifically to love “unwanted” children. I have so much love to give, and I want to pour it all out on these children.
I am so passionate about orphans, there is no doubt in my mind that God will use me. I would give my life for just one orphan, let alone agree to spend my lifetime trying to help multiple orphans.
God, I am so grateful that you told me to go on the World Race. I am so grateful that you can dream up an even greater plan for my life than I can. I am so thankful that you are my creator, and that you know what makes me come alive. I am so thankful that you have instilled these passions inside of me.
For all of you reading this, I pray that you find what makes you come alive. I pray that the Lord reveals to you what your calling is. I pray that as you seek Him, and obediently follow Him, that He rewards you with the feelings of passion that I have felt.
For any of you who want to help Avis continue to support these children at the Agape Home, you can do so by supporting a child, adopting a child, financially supporting a child/young adult going to school, make donations, volunteer, or even partner with her in prayer!
For more information her website is www.nikkisplace.org or you can email them at [email protected]
This truly is an incredible organization, and this woman is such a strong woman of faith. She mentioned to me that she hasn’t done a fundraiser in 5-7years and that God is still providing. Her heart is so much for being there to love on these children, and God has continued to let her do that! Even at 68years old.
If you feel led I encourage you to partner with her. She didn’t ask me to do this, she doesn’t even know that I am sharing this story – but I felt led, so I am being obedient.
Also, if you could partner with me and continue to pray for the orphans in Macedonia that would be greatly appreciated. My heart yearns to return to them. Yet, I know that in God’s timing I will be able to help them. Month 7 God did say I could go back – I just have to wait for Him to say when.
Also, if y’all could pray for my next step after the Race that would be amazing. I am not revealing it quite yet – but the Lord did share with me what He is calling me into. It is not quite what I would have picked (because I obviously want to run as fast as I can back to Macedonia) but I do know that He is preparing me for that destiny, and what He has called me to is part of that preparation.
