As I am sitting in a church in the middle of Ecuador towards
the end of the first month, I cant help but sit and think of what I have
learned in the last month. Thinking shouldn’t be a problem, since I am sick,
and the rest of the team is gone to do ministry while I stayed behind to rest,
I struggle with things I have learned and find myself looking at old pictures
of me and friends, all the great times we have had, and how I miss those times.
But something inside me says its not okay to only be thinking of the past, but
to be grateful for where you are now, and to fully embrace it. Its true,
homesickness has set it, and the reality of being gone for a full year is
setting in, and its rough, but there is something great, something beautiful
that is going to happen in this next year. So, it has to be my point to think
about what’s happening, and to keep my heart ripe and ready to do powerful work
of the Holy Spirit. Anything else would be robbing God and the purpose of me
being on this trip.
So what have I learned in this first month? Well, to be
honest, I feel its been so fast, and crazy I haven’t had a single moment to
just sit and reflect on all that has happened. I kind of feel like a touring
band, having not been in one place for more than 3 days, making appearances
before all the churches we have visited, and doing a “special song” for the
congregation. It has not been at all what I have expected, but it has been
amazing and there are things God has taught me even though its been chaotic.
First, the church struggles with the same issues, no matter
where you are in the world. All the issues with church I thought I could get
away from by going to church in a different country have just followed me. Im
not sure what I am supposed to get out of that yet, but it’s a realization God
has given me.
Second, people, no matter where in the world, struggle with
the same issues. Whether its money, or possessions or longing for something or
whatever is going on in their life, it’s the same as people deal with in
America. It goes to show that when Jesus says to love God with YOUR heart, YOUR
soul and YOUR mind, hoping to visit a third world country and see poverty to
get you away from the love of money, it wont work. The change has to come
through prayer and through God changing your heart and mind about a certain
subject or issue. You can’t expect someone else’s naivety to a problem to be
the solution to yours, cause it wont happen, if that makes sense.
I have also
learned that language is a huge, exhausting barrier between people, and that I
have not made the most of time with people of the same language. I spent 23
years in a country where everyone spoke my language, and got very little across
by choice, and now I am here where I cant get anything across because of
language, and makes me realize I should make more of my time when I am with
those who understand my words. I need to make those words more meaningful, more
heart-felt, because words and communication are a beautiful gift we neglect to
use to its full potential.
I have also learned that, even with a language barrier, some
things are universal. I remember sitting in the back a pickup truck singing
“Man, I feel like a woman” at the top of my lungs, we were all laughing, even
though we all couldn’t understand each other(or at least I hope they couldn’t
understand me). I have learned that just like God’s word says, when the Holy
Spirit is working within someone, you can see it in their eyes. No verbal
communication is needed. The Holy Spirit knows no boundaries, and He fills a
person so full that it overflows out of your eyes. Its one of the most
beautiful things anyone could ever see.
The Holy Spirit needs no similar language to keep from doing
work in someone’s life. What is so beautiful is that the Holy Spirit can be
felt. When the Holy Spirit is ushered in somewhere, not a single word needs to
be spoken for someone to feel His presence, whether they are a child of His or
not, and because of that fact, it leaves them with a choice of how they want to
react to His presence. Trust me, it cannot be ignored!
So even though I feel this month has been chaotic, God still
works through that and can still teach. A few years ago, God brought to mind a
short poem that I think fits perfectly here:
Chaos is lost in itself,
Mystified by the solving of.
Even so, LOVE is the truss of it all.
Yeah, I have had some homesick moments, but this is my story
now, and like Donald Miller said, ” Life has a peculiar feel when you look back
on it that it doesn’t have when you are actually living it.” No matter where we
are, no matter what the chaos, we will be somewhere someday, thinking about the
days behind us, and that feeling we get looking back, we need it to be a
positive feeling. A feeling of knowing that, no matter where we are, we let the
Holy Spirit work and that we made the most of those times.
