Coming on the World Race you start to pray for big things…asking the Holy Spirit to move in power through your squad as you encounter great suffering and pain all over the world. You ask the Lord for the chance to see people healed. To see communities revived in the name of Jesus. Maybe you want to see someone freed of the bondage of addiction, and see their family restored. Or even more importantly…to share the gospel for the first time, and see someone come to saving faith in Jesus, realizing their great depravity and their even greater need of a Savior. There are so many big things you pray for.
But all too often, these big things you pray for are for other people.
That’s what this year is all about, right? Serving. This year is about laying down your life for the sake of others, giving every ounce of what you have for the gospel every single day. It’s a daily choice to pick up your cross, humbly decide that your own desires aren’t that important, and serve in whatever capacity you can. The concept that maybe God has healing for YOU, perhaps God has a greater revelation of truth for YOU, or that God wants YOU to go deeper with Him than you ever have before…seems farfetched.
This is exactly the place I found myself this week. Eager to serve, but limited by my physical constraints after my trapezius injury in Bolivia, and incredibly distracted by the constant pain I was in on a daily basis. I was frustrated that even the simple assignment we had this week of working on crafts with the members of Abhayam for VBS was putting a strain on my back from the long periods of hunching over a table. I was annoyed that my pain was distracting from my time with the Lord every morning. I was at my wits end after almost a month of constant pain that was sidelining me from ministry much more often than I would like.
(Tiger Balm was finally giving me some relief, even more than painkillers)
On Tuesday night during team time, I confessed to my team the degree of my frustration. Through my tears I told them how tired I was, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. I confided that I didn’t have much left to give, that my tank was pretty much empty.
And without missing a beat, my teammate Karissa said, “We need to pray. Right now.”
And they did. My team laid hands on me and boldly asked God to heal my torn muscle. They asked Him in faith to take away ALL of my pain so I could be restored and refreshed.
“So confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great effectiveness.” -James 5:16
That night I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned for a few hours, so finally I got up and decided to at least be productive. I blogged, edited and sorted photos, caught up on some much-needed emails, and read blogs of my fellow squad-mates. And around 2AM, I decided to spend the rest of the morning with Jesus in the Word. I journaled and prayed, journaled and prayed. Time seemed to stand still as I dug into the Word and begged for revelation from God about what He was doing in and through me during this time of injury and rest.
Then, just before my team awoke to start the day, I heard from God.
“Stay close to Me.”
I almost laughed to myself, because this was the same word that my squad-leader Teresa gave to me while she was with our team in Bolivia. The Lord told her that would be the key point for me to see healing and growth during this time…that I needed to “stay close.”
“Come near to God and He will come near to you.” -James 4:8
And as I sat up from laying down on the couch in the living room, my pain was gone. Completely.
Yes, you read that right. GONE. I hadn’t been pain free since the accident, even with prescription medication. Not a single moment had passed in a month where I wasn’t in some degree of pain. And there, in the living room of a rehabilitation center in Bangalore, India…I was healed. Whoda thunkit? I came on this trip and wanted to pray and see someone healed. Never in a million years would I have imagined that someone would be me.
And Praise God there has been no pain since. He’s a good, good Father, and the Ultimate Physician. He took me by surprise, reminded me of His love, and healed me of major pain. It was such a sweet reminder that even in the midst of endless service of others, He sees me, He knows me, and loves me so, so much. This exercise in rest, growth in patience, and deeper intimacy with Him has brought me to a position of greater trust in the One who takes away all diseases, restores every spirit, and refreshes every soul. Healing is in His hands, and it wasn’t just for me.
He didn’t just heal me so my discomfort would be eliminated. He healed me so His glory could be made manifest in my body, and that people could see and know that the God of the Universe is still working today. That He sees and loves His children so very much.
So I can walk the streets of Bangalore confident that the Lord goes before me, determines my steps, and guides me. He cares for every single moment of my day, and every single bit of pain I feel. He wants to see greater healing, greater revelation, and deeper intimacy. He has a good and perfect plan, and is tireless in His pursuit of my heart.
