When the Holy Spirit says something; obedience is a must. A life could be on the line. Mine sure was.
THE HOLY SPIRIT INTERVENES
This Monday morning I awoke and the pain in my leg was noticeably worse. The last two days my right calf had been giving me a lot of trouble. It had been very tight; almost like a mild but constant charlie horse. It stopped me from walking and forced me to hobble. Up and down the stairs of the AIM base I hobbled. I even had to work out less extremely than I like, which definitely meant something was up.
I had noticed the pain at the end of my 15 hour flight from LA to Taipei. Then again on my next flight to Bangkok, and a third time on the final flight to Chang Mai. I didn’t really know what was up but figured it would go away with time. After hobbling around the base Saturday and Sunday I realized it hadn’t gotten better but worse. My first day of ministry was the following day so I decided I would make the trip to Chang Dao and start doing ministry there and if the pain didn’t go away I’d go see a doctor.
I woke on Monday to a text from my Mom saying that Aunt Karen had contacted her with concern over my condition. Based off a single sentence in my last blog she thought I might have a blood clot and needed to see a doctor. Blood clots can be very serious if not treated and can even result in death. I promptly went to the hospital.
After having my blood tested and having an ultrasound of my leg, it was confirmed that I had thrombosis, a type of blood clot. I was not in a serious condition but could have been if we hadn’t noticed it this soon. The doctor instructed me how to daily give myself injections of a blood thinner called enoxaparin and told me I’d have to return on Thursday for a check up. My mind reeled. That meant I’d have to stay in Chang Mai the next three days rather than going to Chang Dao with my team to do ministry. (Thankfully I wouldn’t be the only guy left at the base in Chang Mai. Joe is here with me as well because of the buddy system [no Racer can go anywhere alone] and Caleb is here just cause.)
I’m beyond thankful that the Holy Spirit spoke to my Aunt Karen and gave her the insight that I might have a blood clot. I’m also very thankful to my Aunt Karen for having the wisdom and boldness to warn my Mom. Who knows what condition I would be in now if she hadn’t. It’s all too easy for me to ignore the voice of the Holy Spirit. I get caught up in the fear that I’m wrong and the anxious what ifs quench my courage. But honestly I just need to get over myself. If I act in faith and obedience the worst that could happen is my pride might be damaged. But that risk is well worth it if it means possibly saving someone’s life; whether physically or spiritually. When the Holy Spirit speaks, obey. This is something I’m really learning to live out.
HOW I’M DOING NOW
I had my Thursday appointment yesterday and was really hoping and expecting for the doctor to say my condition had improved (because the pain had gone down significantly). I was hoping that I’d be able to go to Chang Dao. Instead he informed me that my condition had pretty much stayed the same. He gave me more injections and informed me I’d have to have another appointment on Christmas Eve. Therefore I wouldn’t be going to Chang Dao. (Although I’m in minimal pain I would really appreciate prayers for the blood clot to dissipate, for complete health to return, and especially for me to go to Chang Dao.)
It has been really disappointing to have to stay here at the base in Chang Mai this week. Not necessarily because it hasn’t been enjoyable or productive but because the time I’d have had in Chang Dow was already so short. We were only going to be there for about three weeks and I’ve already missed a third of that. I also miss my team and wish I could be there making memories with them. And although I’ve been productive here at the base it’s hard to feel like I’m making an impact on the Kingdom.
Despite all this disappointment I do trust that God has a reason. He always has a reason for everything that happens. Sometimes it’s just hard to see what it is. Part of the reason might just be God showing me that He’s watching out for me. Two times this year I’ve been in incredible danger and both times the Lord has rescued me in very tangible ways. (See my blog “He Saves Me From Deep Waters (Literally!)” for the first example.) Maybe another reason is that God wants me to realize I’m not on this trip just for impacting others. It’s not all about productivity, getting things done, and being useful for the Kingdom. I’m on this Race to grow in my own understanding of God and possibly slowing down this week was the best way to do that. Or maybe even the Lord wanted me here because I’d be able to make a bigger impact here among my other squad mates rather than on the field with my team.
It’s hard to say what the reasons for this might be. But I do know God is sovereign and does have a great reason. I just have to make the most of this time; living in thanks and obedience in the situation God has put me in, rather than wallowing in self pity and disappointment over not being and doing what I had planned and desired. God is good and I trust Him.
WHAT I’VE BEEN UP TO
This last week has been very reminiscent of high school for me. I’ve just been sitting at my laptop the majority of the time this week (which is what I did every school day for four years). I’ve been working on school, scholarships, journals, blogging, and filing claims with insurance. I’ve also read a little bit (Calvin and Hobbes has definitely helped keep my spirits high) while enjoying a lot of Christmas music. It still doesn’t feel like it’s almost Christmas. Weird. In the evenings when the girls and Joe and Caleb get back from ministry I hang with them. I’ve gone to the night market with Joe and Caleb every night for dinner. Although I miss the team it’s been good bonding time with those two. A couple of the nights we’ve played games. We watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Monday night and It’s a Wonderful Life Wednesday night. Both great movies!
All things considered, although life in Thailand hasn’t been what I had thought it would be, life’s been pretty good and I can’t complain.
