There’s been a bit happening since I last posted.
Last Friday (March 22nd) as a squad we traveled to a city right outside of Johannesburg, South Africa for what is called an Awakening. An Awakening is an AIM staff facilitated time for two or more World Race squads to get together for a lot of worship and encouragement to keep going strong on the Race and living at 100% for the Kingdom. So my squad met up with an 11n11 squad: O Squad. They were older than us but it was such a good time to meet as two different groups that are apart of the same body and to learn from each other and lift each other up.
We all left the Awakening on Monday; some of us headed to PVT (parent vision trip) in the capital of Swaziland while the rest of us headed back to the base. PVT is a time when parents of Racers can come and join their kids on the field and experience a little of what their child has gone through the past months.
PVT left 15 of us without parents here at the base in Nsoko. It’s been a lot quieter as a result. But it’s been really cool. David and Jenna (the base elders here) have treated us really well and made us feel apart of their family. What I’ve most enjoyed is the ministry we been able to do this last week here. Tuesday through Friday we went to two different care points near the base. I hadn’t spent much time at care points with kids before this week and it really touched my soul in a meaningful way.
THAT FIRST SMILE
Arriving at the care point it’s obvious some kids come from wealthier families than others. Some of the kids have nice clothes and shoes and seem well looked after. Other kids have ratty clothes with holes and rips all over. Many don’t have shoes and there feet are rough and course. Several have rashes and other skin conditions. I can’t do anything to fix any of this. All I can do is love.
I’ve never considered myself especially good with kids and definitely not a people person. But I am someone who wants to see these kids loved. And I do have lots of energy. And the Lord used that. He will use anything as long as we offer it up to Him for His glory.
I can’t speak esSwatini so how do I tell these kids that they are beautiful and that they are so worthy of love. It’s through my actions. With the little kids this looks like crouching down in front of them, waving, and saying hi. I normally give them a high five and a pound it. At first most of the kids are a little shy and reserved. But once they realize I just want to play they brighten up and get energetic. A little bit of tickling doesn’t usually go wrong.
There are one or two that don’t seem responsive to anything though. Loving on them is hard. I wave and offer high fives. I try to get them to laugh. A blank face and wondering eyes are the only response. An attempt at tickling does nothing. I only pray the Lord will let them know they are loved.
It’s crazy how fast the kids get attached to us even after just showing them just a little love. The second day as we walked the last stretch towards the care point several of the kids sprinted up to reach us in bear hugs, big white smiles on their little dark faces. Those that didn’t run to meet us were ready to greet us at the gate longing for more love.
Getting to love these kids is so worth it. We could be changing their entire lives. Because of our love as they grow up they’ll be able to look back on how we valued them and know that they are worth something.
WHAT LOVING THEM LOOKS LIKE
At the beginning of the day when we arrive it’s mostly little kids there (all under the age of 6 probably). They love shoulder rides and being spun around. It’s hard learning to pace myself. I want to be so full of energy and run around with all of them giving to them all every bit of strength and love I have. But even with pacing myself I get exhausted.
It’s hard not to think they’re treating me like a commodity. Something just to be used for their pleasure. And that may be somewhat true. It especially feels like it when certain kids are very clingy and must be held and spun all the time. They are jealous for attention and getting what I can give them, spins and shoulder rides. They have little fights between themselves to get what they want; me. It’s hard to know what to do. I can’t discipline them or even let them know that fighting is wrong; at least not with words. And then another part of me thinks I don’t deserve to be treated like this. They don’t seem thankful. They seem so selfish. I want to tell them not everything is about them.
But then I lay down my pride and open my eyes. These kids receive so little love at home they are willing to fight for it here. It’s only natural for them to be selfish to receive love. They don’t have stable homes to go back to and if they don’t get love here they may not get it at all. I do my best to make things fair between them; giving them all equal amounts of spins and shoulder rides; trying to show each of them that they are worthy of love. I let go of my ego and authority and let them “boss” me around. They need to be shown that they matter and are worth something. If that means doing much of what they want, even if I’m exhausted, I’ll do it.
And so I continue to play with them. Later in the day older kids arrive. Some of these, around 7-10 years old, love to play tag. I’ve spent the last couple days doing that. It’s honestly a blast even for me. I love receiving so much attention from the kids and seeing the joy on their faces. The first day when they realized I was willing to play I was immediately chased by maybe fifteen kids! It’s all of them vs. me and I love it that way. It makes it a challenge. Ducking and weaving between the kids and sprinting to get past them. Many close calls as I turn and slip right past their swinging hands. They laugh and have wide eyes as I make narrow escapes from them. But as the day wares on I lose my breath and my stamina runs dry. Then it’s more of me chasing them. Which they love just as much. They laugh and scream as I close in on them and they try to get away. And honestly, I laugh a lot too!
It’s been a long and exhausting week of ministry. My face is red and dry from playing in the sun. My feet and sandals are covered in dirt by the end of each day; my whole body is sweaty and dirty; my hair a ragtag mess from all the kids playing with it. My heels have blisters from running in chacos. My legs and arms sore from all the play. My whole being tired. I’m a sticky, smelly, and an overall mess. But I’m filled with life because of the bigger picture. I’m not just playing tag with kids or giving kids shoulder rids or spinning them around till my arms are about to fall off. I’m loving the least of these in faith knowing that the Lord has a plan and will use the love that I pour out on these kids. And honestly, the laughs and smiles are so worth all I can give.
PRAYER FOR THE KIDS
Lord, provide for these kids. I only get a short time with them but they still need love. Love is something they need everyday. Bask them in your supernatural love. Send them people to love them in the flesh. Whatever it takes. Let them grow up knowing their value; let them know you love them and delight in them and desire so much to have a relationship with them.
PRAYER FOR ME
I’ve talked about my future in a lot of blogs and I’m still very unsure about a lot of things. I’ve felt peace in a lot of areas but I want a clear answer from the Lord. I would appreciate prayers so much. For clarity with my future. And also for living very present and intentional in these last couple months of the Race despite cluttered and wondering thoughts about the future.
