The time has come. The World Race has begun. I am at Launch right now in Atlanta, Georgia and so far it’s been really good. Exciting and fun to see faces from training camp and prepare for when we fly out to Guatemala on Wednesday. I will be staying at the Adventures in Missions base in Antigua, Guatemala. I still haven’t been informed of what ministry I’ll be doing but I will let you all know once I find out.
I just left my family. I won’t see them for nine months. Saying goodbye to each of them was hard but having to walk away from them all, all by myself was heart wrenching. This day has been a long time coming; I’ve had months and months to prepare. For over a year I have wanted to go off on this adventure, but now that I’m standing at the edge of it I don’t feel ready to leave. I’m so very excited and ready to begin this new chapter of my life. But how could I ever be excited to leave the family I love for nine months. Although I felt alone in that moment of goodbye, I do not go alone. God is with me and He is my comfort. And although I leave one family I am going to another. A family of brothers and sisters in Christ. That does little to stem the sorrow of this moment though. This pain of parting with my family is all apart of the journey. But I look forward to my reunion with my family and know in my heart that the words of Charles Dickens must be true: “The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.”
I’ve lived at WFR my whole life and it has been a good home. I will miss this place; but that is nothing to how much I will miss my family. I’ve had really quality time with them in the weeks leading up to this goodbye. We’ve spent many a day at the pool; chilling, talking, playing spike-ball, and generally just enjoying each other. The last few nights together we stargazed as a family. Braeden, Jeremiah, and I have relived the nostalgia of our favorite games from middle school: Halo Reach and Halo 3. I’ve made the most of each night tucking in Mom and Dad (“it’s the besssst”) and tucking in my youngest siblings Corynn and Titus.
I have loved rereading The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring in the past several weeks (and I look forward to continuing the series on the Race). I expect that I feel very much like Frodo Baggins felt when leaving the Shire. Frodo had been dreaming of adventuring since his youth but now that an adventure was before him he was sad to leave the home he was still in love with. He had little knowledge of the struggles (and friendships and joys) ahead of him and very little idea of where he was going or to what purpose. But he trusted that he was apart of something bigger than himself and so he heeded the counsel given to him by Gandalf.
Leaving all I’ve ever known will be more than hard. But I remember that Jesus said to be His disciple one must love Him more than one loves his father, mother, brother, sister, and even his own life. I am following that call now by leaving them all for nine months to grow in intimacy with God by serving and experiencing other parts of the Kingdom of God. I will be stretched and grown probably more than ever before and I will come back with stories and memories and friendships that will last forever.
I don’t have many more words; it’s hard to explain how I feel about starting the Race. I’ve been thinking about the World Race for two years and now that it’s here I can hardly believe it. I cannot express much of the great wonder I feel. It’s still very surreal for me.
I have spent many a night the past few weeks stargazing; thinking and praying; remembering with warmth memories I have of this place; wondering with awe at the future God has prepared for me, whatever it may hold. It’s hard to explain what my talks with God have been like; what my thoughts and emotions have been like in this time leading up to my leaving. I’m not exactly sure how but I feel like this poem by Bilbo Baggins explains somewhat how I feel:
“I sit beside the fire and think
of all that I have seen,
of meadow flowers and butterflies
in summers that have been;
Of yellow leaves and gossamer
in autumns that there were,
with morning mist and silver sun
and wind upon my hair.
I sit beside the fire and think
of how the world will be
when winter comes without a spring
that I shall ever see.
For still there are so many things
That I have never seen:
in every wood in every spring
there is a different green.
I sit beside the fire and think
of people long ago,
and people who will see a world
that I shall never know.
But all the while I sit and think
of times there were before,
I listen for returning feet
and voices at the door.”
Yes, leaving all I know is hard. But I wholeheartedly agree with what a wise bear once said: “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh. Indeed! God has blessed me with much and the fact that leaving is so hard means that life has been so good. But God has so much more for me. He wants me to follow Him wherever He leads whatever the sacrifice. And He is leading me here.
When all is considered I am overjoyed. I don’t have to be afraid of the future though I have little idea what it holds. God is good and even when I don’t know what’s ahead I can count on Him to lead me well. “For You are my rock and my fortress; for Your name’s sake You will lead me and guide me.” – Psalm 31:3
