Having a guitar on the Race is a huge blessing to so many people including myself, my team, my squad, our ministry hosts, and anyone we encounter. The thing is, it’s also a huge annoyance at times. I hate having to lug the big thing around everywhere I go. Sometimes I have to play music when I don’t really feel up to it. People are constantly telling me how grateful they are that I brought my guitar, and that I have such a willing heart to worship the Lord through music. But honestly, it doesn’t always feel like I have a willing heart.
At home, playing music was just a thing that I would do sometimes when I felt like worshipping. And I do that here, too. I do it a lot, in fact. But here, it sometimes feels like an obligation. Especially as Worship Coordinator, I have a lot of moments where worship feels just like a job rather than a heart posture.
Something God has been teaching me is that I can still worship Him even if I don’t feel like it. I can (and should) still worship Him even when I’m not really in a good mood. God doesn’t need me to pretend like I’m happy in order to step into a place of worship. He wants me just as I am. As long as I am giving my heart to Him, He just wants my worship. Because He deserves it. He has already given me more than I could ever deserve. His love and grace have covered all of my sin. So even if I’m not really in the mood to worship, I can still worship with all of my heart because He is good.
If you haven’t heard the song Yes I Will by Vertical Worship, you should listen to it. The song really captures the idea of worshipping even when your heart is heavy. I will attach the YouTube video at the bottom.
As far as the annoyance of having a guitar with me all the time, it’s sooooo worth it. I don’t know what I’d be doing right now if I didn’t have my guitar with me. For one, music is a gift God has given me, and I want to use it to praise Him and serve others. But also, like I already said, it’s a huge blessing to everyone around me. Even though I may not always feel up to it, I’m so glad to be able to bless people through my gift of music. And even if I’m not in the mood, other people probably are. I’ve already seen so many times how God can use my gift to empower others in their gifts.
There have been plenty of times where we are in places that I don’t really feel in my element. For example, we were at a hospital for a few hours in Mendoza last month. Everyone was going around talking to people and praying for them. Even when I try to step out of my comfort zone and start doing those same things, I never feel like I’m doing anything. Nothing ever comes out of it. Everyone else is always telling cool stories afterwards, and I never have any. I’ve always felt discouraged in these situations, like I’m doing something wrong or something. But the thing is, I’ve realized that my gifts are just different than everyone else’s. When we were at the hospital, I was able to get out my guitar and worship in the courtyard. Our squad was worshipping with me and praying, and occasionally, a group would feel led by the Lord to go talk to somebody.
I could tell that the place was very spiritually dark, so I was able to use worship as a spiritual weapon against the darkness. Everyone was just feeling heavy there, like the devil was very present. But we were able to come in and bring the light of Jesus, starting with worship. I’ve noticed that every time I’ve been in a similar situation, where I feel like my gifts just don’t apply, I’ve been able to use my gift of worship as a weapon like that, and empower other people to step into their giftings, which do apply in the situation.
If you are a future World Racer reading this, and you are wondering whether or not to bring your guitar or another instrument on the Race, do it. Yes, it’s annoying at times, but don’t let that get in the way of letting God use you through the gift of music He has given you. Even if you are just learning guitar, you will have plenty of time and plenty of reason to practice and get better.
I encourage you to worship all the time, even when you don’t feel in the mood. After all, worship is more than just music; it’s a lifestyle. Live a lifestyle of worship, and I can promise you, you will be much more joyful because of it.
Thanks for reading,
Ethan
