Just like there are two sides to every coin, there are also two sides to every Ethan. In my previous post I attempted to communicate how I was truly feeling, but yet understanding that God is bigger than my circumstances and I trust Him even when it doesn’t ‘feel good’. I want to continually live out a life that is courageously obedient to God regardless of emotions (although emotions are not a bad thing). As soon as I posted my previous blog, it is as if my heart began to shift immediately and I began to truly be thankful for the position that I am in. Once I posted that last bog of vulnerability, I felt like the monkey was already off my back. It’s kind of like a tough football practice. In the moment you hate it and wish it was over, but overall you are glad you are on the team and would not trade it for anything else (assuming it was a good team to be on ha). Now I want to tell you about the peace I have despite being currently uncomfortable. This is not a make-up blog, this is the sequel.
First of all, let me start by saying I am so blessed. I have grown up not knowing poverty due to hard working parents. Unlike most of the kids here, I have grown up having 3 meals a day if not more. I have grown up never having to sleep in the extreme cold or extreme heat due to electricity and air condition. And I have been blessed and provided for to have an education. A lot of people that we have encountered cannot afford to even go to school, especially college. Amazingly, I have a college degree and no debt. Beyond these basic things I take for granted, God has continually provided countless blessings for me throughout my life. Not many people get to travel to 11 countries in a year, and especially traveling to do something they are passionate about and love. I have friends and family back home that love and support me. People I have not even met have reached out in order to help donate and support me to go on this mission. All in all, I am so blessed and have so many reasons to continually be thankful.
Sometimes I think worry and ungratefulness go hand in hand. If we truly trusted and obeyed the Lord with our whole heart then we would never worry. However, we are human and have to continually feed ourselves with scripture and truth, remind ourselves not to worry and to surrender it daily. In the same manner, if we were truly thankful for what God has done/is doing for us, I don’t think we would ever complain. But we are human and often are great at focusing on what ‘is wrong,’ what ‘stinks’ or what we don’t have (especially me) I think worry and ungratefulness is an area I need to repent of and surrender to the Lord.
Just like we are commanded not to worry we are also commanded to be thankful/rejoicing. 1 Thessalonians 5:16- says, “rejoice always.” Although this verse was used to comically one-up someone in our family whenever they were angry or frustrated, it still rings true. Not only should we “rejoice always”, but we are commanded to do so. Although in my last blog I felt like I communicated ‘obedience is beyond our circumstances and feelings’, I still felt convicted afterward for a heart that was not grateful. I was convicted because I’m complaining it is to hot when I’ve lived in air condition the majority of my life. I was convicted because I’m complaining that I can’t sleep well because of the conditions, but yet I still have a roof over my head. I was convicted because my heart was complaining about miss home/family, while so many people don’t even have families or homes. Jesus, thank you for literally giving me yet another day of life , I so often take it for granted.
God undoubtedly called me to the World Race and there is no place I would rather be than where He calls me. My mother once said, the safest place is in the center of God’s will. Although my mother has definitely made more than her share of faults over the years (winky face emoji), those are wise words. Although times may get messy, I am so blessed and at peace knowing I am obeying God’s call on my life. When being asked about following the Lord, C.S. Lewis once stated “God is never safe, but He is always good.” God is so good, and I know that His plans for my life are better than any plans I can construct on my own. Sometimes I lose perspective, have bad days, and do not actively have a thankful heart. Yet, I am so blessed to have the Spirit of the living God residing inside of me. “If God is for me, who can stand against?” Once again I am so blessed to have friends and family like you guys. I hope that this can be a challenge for everyone to be thankful for what they do have and what God has done in their life. instead of (like myself) complaining about what we don’t have or ‘what will’ happen next.
God bless, and stay tuned for more dramatic posts next week.
