Friends & Family,
I haven’t written a blog in a long time, but as this season of my life overseas closes I want to share with you the reality of my heart and the new perception I feel the Lord has given me that evokes change. I’ve really been asking myself at times, “in what ways am I different?” And for a long while, I really had no idea.
But, I think I have found that the change in me is not found in the things I have done, or even the experiences of ministry or community. Rather, I feel like the change in my heart has come from a deeper awareness of my flesh and the reality of my life apart from God. The reality that I am deeply in need of grace every single day and my own doing of works can never fully please God or bring me salvation. But Christ, in His abundance, calls me His son. And He fills me up with His spirit and His love and mercy, and it changes the core of who I am. This is a short answer to the question of change.
So in my sin and flesh I have come to realize the only way to rid myself of this unholiness is to pursue righteousness and fixing my eyes on the Father. As I finish my time in the Philippines I want to share a prayer I have written for myself as I head back home.
“Create in me a clean heart, oh Father, that is eager to do your will rather then my own. Create in my a heart of praise and joyful worship towards you, that my fulfillment and satisfaction may be found in your presence. Mend me and mold me to your likeness, that my heart may be a dwelling place for your Spirit. Create in me a spirit of willingness and servanthood. Turn my wants and desires of worldly things into a longing for things of God and faith. Guard my heart against complacency and carnal Christianity. May my mind never grow dull, nor my love every turn partial.”
