It’s been two months since I came off the field from my World Race.
Two months before I left for my Race, I remember reading a blog of a racer who had at the time been off the field for a few months as well. She wrote about the numerous things she wished she would have done differently on her 11 months. It highlighted everything she regretted, encouraging racers to not fall into bad habits and patterns that might cause disappointment later.
I remember thinking to myself, if it is at all possible, I want to look back on my race and have no regrets!!
With more than a little doubt, but a lot of determination, I started out on a quest to accomplish such a task.
I set goals for the things I wanted to achieve during my 11 months.
I revisited them at the beginning and end of every month.
I prayed about them. A lot.
I kept them in the forefront of my mind during my Race.
Yes, I failed sometimes….
But every time I fell, I got back up and kept trying.
One of the most powerful reminiscing moments for me regarding my goal, was in South Africa, at the end of month 11.
Sitting in a meeting with our leaders during final debrief, one of our coaches asked our squad leader team if we had any regrets and if we could go back, what would we do differently. I was immediately taken back to my initial objective and sitting there, looking at the end of my Race straight in the face, the answer as to whether or not I accomplished it was hanging in the air.
The room was silent for 15……
…30…….
…..45 seconds…….
We sat and pondered diligently, trying to come up with something. As a peaceful silence answered the looming question, our coach sat back and whispered the astonishment that we were all experiencing…
“Wow.”
That’s all I could think of too. Wow.
I mean, is this real?! Do I really not have any regrets?!?
While we discussed and processed, I realized that of course, looking back on anything, there are always things that we could’ve done differently.
There are always situations we could have handled better.
Always instances we could’ve loved more or been more patient.
Always time we might have used more wisely.
Always room for growth.
But somehow, amidst all the “always” thoughts and all the times I DID fail, I still had no regrets!
Is that possible?!
I began to realize with a hint of apprehension, but eventually with growing confidence, the possibility that I had set out with a goal 11 months prior and actually accomplished it. Not because I hadn’t failed in areas….but because of the initially paradoxical concept that still blows my mind. The concept that,
Even amidst failures, it is still possible to emerge with no regrets.
Driven by the acceptance of grace over my life, I know that I am imperfect and will fail more times than I can count, yet I can still look back and feel confident that I did my best.
When it comes down to it, one of the most important things I learned through this journey is this…
Just because you do your best, it doesn’t mean you will not fail!!
Yes, I look back on my failures and pray that next time I might handle a situation differently, or maybe call on more strength from the Spirit for an extra dose of patience, or be more intentional with using my time wisely. Whatever the case may be, I know I will be beaten down, willingly go down, and fail immeasurably.
Knowing I might not have succeded in certain goals or attempts, I emerge feeling that I accomplished my goal because of my persistent and unwavering efforts to carry on, all the while being covered by grace. What a beautiful existence!
The amazing thing is, because I gave it my all and did my best, I have no regrets.
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“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge cloud of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.”
Hebrews 12:1-2
—-> Even amidst failures, it is still possible to emerge with no regrets. <—-
What areas of your life are you focusing on your failures instead of persevering in prayer and action?
