…a continuation from Part 1! 🙂
6.) MALAYSIA = Vulnerability
My month of brokenness – both spiritually and physically. I caught a really bad bug in Malaysia which included a sinus infection, fevers, lack of sleep, a cracked rib from coughing so hard, and nearly a month of missing ministry because I was in bed most of the time. Being one who not only has a high pain tolerance, but is also not used to being “the weakest link”, I seriously struggled this month. Abba had me digging into deeper layers of vulnerability; I learned what it looked like to ask for help, accept grace from others, and be vulnerable with how I was really doing physically and emotionally. God broke down some walls of pride and my perception of what strength and weakness is.
Conquered Fear —-> Fear of opening up and admitting to others that I need rest and am weak. Also learning to not wait for people to ask me how I am doing or what I think about something, but to be voluntarily vulnerable!
7.) THAILAND = You speak truth by living Truth.
My team and I were teaching at a Buddhist school where everyone spoke little to no English. The hardest hurdle to jump during this month, was getting over the idea that if we can’t literally speak to people, we can’t share Jesus with them. The scales were dropped from my eyes in Thailand when some kids started drawing pictures of crosses on the chalk board with a stick figure kneeling beside it – they would point to the girl from my team who was teaching English and say “tee-cha”, as she nodded and said, “Yes!!! I love Jesus!” They watched how we lived and worked and the Holy Spirit started moving in their hearts. God impressed a profound truth upon me during our time in that school:
You don’t always have to speak truth from the words in your mouth. You live truth! When you live truth, you automatically share it with others. You speak life by showing life – a life hidden in Christ.
Conquered Fear —-> The fear that you always have to literally preach the gospel for others to know the Truth. Others can also feel and see the Truth of Christ by seeing a life that is hidden in Him. To SHARE the Way, the Truth and the Life to them, I SHOW the Way, the Truth and the Life to them.
8.) CAMBODIA = Encountering God in new ways
After one day living in the dusty border post town in the north of Cambodia, the realization started to sink in that all of my top spiritual instincts were going to be virtually nonexistent in our current placement. Not even a blade of grass to be seen, no space or quiet corner for me to go to be alone, and half of our worship services in a different language…the places that I naturally go to in order to hear God’s voice were challenged in a big way. Instead of looking negatively on my situation, I decided to press into some of the spiritual instincts that I would not normally gravitate towards to experience Him. I sought to see, feel and hear Him particularly through relationships with people and artistic creativity. He did not disappoint. “You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13) He WILL draw near to me when I draw near to Him!
Conquered Fear —-> The fear that I can’t experience or feel God unless I’m working through my naturally strong spiritual instincts (naturalist, contemplative, and experiential).
9.) SWAZILAND = Lead others into the adventure
Living on a mountaintop, surrounded by beauty and the sounds of nature, there was no place I felt more at home on the race than in the mountains of Swaziland. I have grown up in Colorado and there is hardly a place I’d rather be than in the mountains. For six years leading up to the Race, I was a horse trainer, riding horses in the mountains all day long by myself; just me and the Lord. In the stillness of the mountains once again, I began to retreat into my own little quiet, comfortable world of adventure on the “mountain of God” as I liked to call it.
After a few days, God started to shake me out of my peaceful solitude. He reminded me that part of community is living an adventure encountering Him together with others!! He challenged me to start inviting others into the adventure that I live out with Him. Praying, fasting, doing creative things to experience Him – all the things I normally do by myself – with others! It was scary. I didn’t want people to know some of the things I did on a personal level to be close to Him. I was afraid what they would think of me….how they would talk about me. In the end, I started to understand that none of that mattered. What mattered was for me to invite them in, and the choice was theirs…I was going to be living an adventure with God with or without them. I started to identify with one of my favorite movie characters who loves nothing more than to be in the woods…”The more the merrier!!” We did adventure and experienced God on a deeper level and it was beautiful!!!
Conquered Fear —-> Getting out of my comfort zone and inviting others to live a life of adventure with the Lord.
10.) BOTSWANA = Awake my soul
Month 10 on the Race brought its fair share of struggles. With underlying threats of burnout, I focused hard on digging up positive, motivating thoughts to keep going. I asked for fresh awakening and a renewed spirit to finish the race well. Through some tough days and emotional hardships, I started to understand that radical joy does not come from circumstances or events but from choosing each and every day to allow the joy of Christ to overflow in me! I started making the choice of joy everyday and and as a result, some of my favorite days of ministry were chalked up from my time in Botswana. “For the happy heart, life is a continual feast!” Proverbs 15:15
Conquered Fear —-> The fear that I am so weak, I always succumb to the difficult circumstances, feelings and emotions of those around me. I finally started to believe during this month that I am not a ‘thermometer’ which adjusts its temperature (or feelings) to the atmosphere around me, but I am a ‘thermostat’ that sets my own temperature of joy and the atmosphere around me changes.
11.) SOUTH AFRICA = Your past determines your future
With almost a year on the World Race behind me, my future was also staring me in the face as we finished up ministry in Africa. Understanding that our past sins, mistakes and missed opportunities are always covered by grace, it also became apparent to me during this month that at the same time, a huge portion of our past is the foundation for what God uses for our future!! I looked back and reflected on how my actions over the year (and even before) have impacted how God has been able to use me in my future (which is even now my past!). The steps and everyday choices I make TODAY affect my future!! Because if my obedience to God TODAY, He is able to work in ways that He might not otherwise have been able to in my future!!
Conquered Fear —-> During my time in Botswana, I had someone share with me a vision they had of me surfing and how I needed to be swimming hard in the next season of life because God was bringing a big wave for me to ride in my future and I needed to be ready. I took it to the Lord and started to understand that the vision was paralleling my spiritual journey with Him over the past year and what He was getting ready to bring for my future. The same as in life, surfing takes courage, persistence, training and dedication to ride the big waves. No matter how hard we try, we will always crash and burn, get tossed around by the waves, get dragged under, and get water up our nose…..and if there’s one thing I absolutely hate – both spiritually and especially physically – it’s getting water up my nose!! As I was looking into the daunting unknown of my future and life after the Race, He whispered gently to me, “You will get water up your nose…not everyone has the heart to stick with it. You must ask yourself if you’re willing to do what it takes.”
Am I willing to do what it takes? To stay out in the waves, knowing I’m going to get beaten down? Willingly putting myself in situations where I will undoubtedly get copious amounts of water up my nose? Is it really worth it?
I soon found out.
Our last month in South Africa, my team was surprised and excited to get to work with an ex-pro surfer who decided he wanted to take us surfing on one of our off days.
I conquered the fear of going out in those waves, not only physically, but emotionally…knowing I would crash and burn. Knowing I would stare in the face one of the feelings I dislike the most – getting water up my nose. After the vision that was given me in Botswana, going surfing was my literal act of saying that I was all in for this next season and what God had in store for me. No matter how hard the season, or how many times I get pulled under by the force of the waves, or how much water I get up my nose, I am all in.
And in the end, I experienced the most rewarding feeling of all.
When you finally stand up and ride the wave – all the effort and struggle, the courage and persistence it takes to get there – to conquer your fear…..that exhilarating feeling makes it completely worth it!
