Hi, World. I’m sorry it has been almost three months since I’ve written anything, and I’m thankful to all of you who have continued to wonder and pray as you waited. I’ve found it more difficult this time to carve out space to write, but I’ve been reminded lately of the power these stories carry and that they’re for the people who read them just as much as they are for those of us actually living them. There are stories of God’s faithfulness in both Ecuador and India waiting to be told, so know that some will be coming soon. Until then, here’s a brief recap to catch you all up!
As a whole, this journey is quite different than my last one, but it’s just as great. My first Race felt a lot like a trip—like it was something I would do for a year and then return to normal life. But that year created a new normal and became the way I live all the time, so round two truly feels like I’m simply continuing to live that life in a different place. It’s really neat when you do something similar again and the second time feels so different because you’ve changed. And I get to do this while walking alongside, pouring into, and co-leading fifty new friends! I travel to be with a new team every two or three weeks, which has allowed me to reach more people, see more places, and experience more ministries—from playing with kids in a garbage dump and at an orphanage, to teaching English in schools and running VBS in villages. I feel like God is doing more through me this time, while also doing at least as much in me.
Month one in Ecuador was for building relationships, both with my squad and my leadership team. I heard people’s stories, got to speak life into them, and built trust. I was reminded again and again how blessed I am to be part of this beautiful World Race community and how thankful I am for the chance to lead these incredible people. In this month, I learned a lot about humility as I faced the reality that ministry would look different this time around. My heart beats to be all in with the locals—to walk their streets, to learn their stories, and to sit beside them and share the hope found in a loving God. But while I will continue to love them every chance I get, my main ministry is investing in the fifty men and women I’m blessed to lead. I might not always be the one who gets to hold the orphans or walk the lost out of darkness, but I get to speak into and empower those who do. And when I look at these fifty people I’ve grown to love and see how these experiences are changing their lives, there’s no role I’d rather play. We don’t have to live in the spotlight to be a light in this world, and we don’t need recognition to have great purpose.
Month two was one of revelation. I began to hear God’s voice more clearly than ever before, and as I sat in the stillness and silence, He taught me so much. I realized how much I struggle to truly rest, because there are always more things to be doing and more people to be loving. In this, I learned that it’s not about finishing our to-do lists so we can then rest (for our lists will never be fully finished) but rather making time to rest even when they aren’t done. We cannot pour anything out when we are empty. He also showed me the purpose of my life: I’m alive to show people who Jesus is. In the beautiful simplicity of this calling, He gave me so much peace. And He told me that I was letting Him use me but not really letting Him love me… that while He does want me to lead these people and show others who He is, He also wants me.
So month three was filled with new depths of God’s love. It’s no longer a love I simply know about and believe is real but rather one I’ve truly experienced in the most personal way, the kind that makes me thankful to be alive. With the realization from month two, I made space to really sit in His love, and He drenched me with bucket after bucket of His goodness and faithfulness. He helped me see beauty everywhere again—like each encounter and each breath-taking moment are small pieces of His love letter to the world. And He showed me the lengths He will go to show me His love… like giving me a sky full of stars on a night I needed them most and placing me at a special needs orphanage, not because the team needed me but because I needed this—because He knew how long my heart had waited for this opportunity and so that as I sat holding a child one night, my tears could answer His words, “This is for you. This is how much I love you.” I don’t want to go one day of my life without sitting in the fullness of this love.
Month four brought a refreshing change as we began our time in India. It was a month of faith. This was partly because God gave me invitation after invitation to have faith, asking in the midst of challenges, “Do you trust me?” and partly because in these things, He showed me His faithfulness again and again. On a night of hard news, He gave me peace and literally hid the moon so I could see a sky full of stars. The village we were living in was filled with darkness, but He reminded me that light is infinitely stronger than darkness—and as children of God who carry light, we change atmospheres by simply being in them. Many people in this village are Hindu, and we would have given our right arms to see them all come to know Jesus… but He reminded me that our job is to simply plant seeds and trust Him to water them even after we leave. So one night, we hosted an event to bring new people in… over 300 people came! Since then, they already have one new believer. It’s like God is saying, “See? Do you believe me now that I love them even more than you do?” And as He taught me about faith, He also taught me that the joy people have questioned in my life is real because it’s rooted in a deep belief that God is good—no matter what is happening. Life will forever be filled with both mountaintops and valleys, and unwavering faith will carry us through them all.
We are currently halfway through month five, and God is continuing to move in and through our squad. Every day, I find myself saying, “This is a good life” and truly meaning it. I’m humbled by how much I’ve gotten to pour into our Racers, and I’m grateful that no matter how much I give, God manages to give me even more. As I sit here reflecting on what the first half of this journey has been, it’s easy to think that God is doing more in me than through me… and just when I start to feel guilty, He reminds me that this is the beauty of leadership: we lead from who we are, so as He shapes my character, He’s also shaping the way I lead His people.
God is writing a beautiful story in these places, and I’m blessed to be even the smallest part of it.
